您好
现在在上一门英文课程
英文老师是说要把下面句子进行以下Rule
"Keep sentences short and simple in structure and use everyday words."
有没有什么祕诀和方向呢~~~
比较少遇到这类题目...QQ
1.This change will allow us to better leverage our talent base in an
area where the developmental roles are under way and strategically
focuses us toward the upcoming business system transition where
systems literacy and accuracy will be essential to maintain and to
further improve service levels to our customer base going forward.
2.It is of considerable importance for the author to bear in mind,
in connection with the devising of a formal written document intended
for information or persuasion, that the use of clarity in the selection
of vocabulary and syntax will have a substantial influence on the document,
particularyly in its asociation with the rapidity of interpretation and
degree of comprehension.
大恩大德 感激不尽 <(_ _)>

建议自己先试写看看，再来问怎么改进，诀窍就是，一件事可以用三个字表达，就不要用五个字

其实这两个句子很难改，因为作者铁了心要用“有学问（误”的方法写字整句都是没有意义的buzzwords连发，子句套越多层越好...真的要short and simple，会改到连他娘都不认识他 (╯▽╰)

改法很简单..请仔细找赘字比如说 to better leverage our talent base in an areawhere the developmental roles are under way不就是指 attract potential talents ?以及 to further improve service levels to ourcustomer base going forward 简单说就是improve customer service另外, This change其实就是后面的the upcoming businesssystem transition还有 strategically focuses us toward 就是 lead, guide以上是第一句..(应该都讲完了!)第二句开头It is of considerable importance...(至逗点)直接改成三个字: The author should后面的in connection with......or persuasion其实就是说 when writing另外, the use of clarity in.... vocabulary and syntax可改成 be clear on words and sentences