Re: [英中] 能帮我检查我的自我介绍吗?

楼主: kles91350711 (arthur3507)   2017-09-22 15:20:12
闲闲没事,来练习一下优化。
如有错误,还请各位指正~
Hi Guys , My name is Shei .
You may ask me thay Why don't I just name myself "Jason Rob" ?
Well , I'll say that's because "Jason Rob" is too common .
So I decided to call myself "Shie"
I am good at dancing and painting , and these are my works.
Oh , please don't forget to pass the album to the person behind you right afte
r you watch my album , thanks.
My dream is to become a model.
Althought my family members and my friends said that's imposdible because of m
y appearance , but I still believe I can made it.
I'm quite sensitive, so try not to hurt me. :P
Back to junior high school , I was hated by some of my classmates.
They even called me......bitch.
Well , I don't care.
Cause they are childish , and I'm already an adult.
I'll get much more stronger.
Thanks for listening .
Love you guys.
以上,如有错误,还请多多指教~
作者: tigerbruce (Bruce)   2017-09-22 23:06:00
时态多注意
作者: spacedunce5 (讀不完的書)   2017-09-23 11:09:00
补血
作者: argelfrast   2017-10-03 08:25:00
"after you watch my album"改成"after you've gone through my album "?
作者: gentianpan   2017-10-07 15:48:00
although~/but~皆非主要子句,须选择去其中一个.

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