嗨大家，我是Lia～
又到了和大家分享好观念的时间了。好久没有讨论写作了，今天我们就来针
对一篇我所写的范文做分析，帮大家复习一下写作的重要观念吧！
很多同学都知道要从好的范文中学习，然而，大家常常不知道到底该怎么阅
读一篇范文呢？
其实，阅读范文的时候，我们应该练习思考范文中每个句子的功能，拿这些
句子的重点叙述回头检验自己的同一篇文章（或不同篇文章）相对应位置的
句子，是否也有扮演好自己的角色，达成我们当初在“写该句时，你想讲的
重点”。在此提醒大家，在撰写一篇作文时，你需要的是辩论能力，而非叙
述能力，因此千万不要将例子讲得过于发散，如此读者就更看不到你整段的
重点了！
接下来，让我们来看一篇范文，以理解写作的审题方式及写作方法吧！
以下是今天的题目：
Which do you prefer? Having a vacation not far away from where you
work or having a vacation far away.
观看此题目，会发现这题目有个有趣的画面，就是要你想像“在公司不远的
地方度假”以及“在公司附近度假”的画面。很多时候，同学都会想：这两
个画面很冲突吧！出去玩当然要离开公司呀，不然干嘛出去玩？这时，你不
妨想：既然题目都被问出来了，代表必定有他的挣扎，而且题目本身一定没
有字面上这么简单。因此，大家可以多思考，什么样的人才会“只想在公司
附近旅游”呢？也许是公司的高阶主管，他们对于公司有责任心，一旦公司
一有事务，他们可以飞毛腿回来解救；或是，即便没有什么紧急事件要他们
回来，他们还是希望在公司附近玩就好了，因为这样“整趟旅程比较不
累”，可以更快回到岗位上，心情也可以更ready。考试时，同学理应要走
“对你而言最好发挥的立场”，然而，如果你想不到三点论说，用两个理由
去论辩完全是可行的。记得，写作不是理由愈多就愈高分，分数的取决反之
在于你的理由写得是否扣人心弦。
接下来，我们来读我所撰写的段落：
People love traveling naturally. However, when people are busy at
work, most would want to head to places closer to their work
places. These people worry that they would not be able to reach
their responsibilities easily. For me, I would indeed have a
vacation in a place far away from work considering my
personalities.
第一段的Introduction，最重视的即是你的思考是不是跳跃了。请从浅入深
慢慢引导你的读者进入今天的写作焦点。坊间关于 Introduction 的模板很
多很多，最经典的模板不外乎是While some people believe…. others
believe...。此类模板我会建议大家非常小心服用，这样的写法会让文章变
得生硬许多。引言的第一句通常会从题目提供的画面某一处切入题目，再慢
慢带出题目的挣扎，最后写出自己的观点。
To begin with, I tend to feel anxious easily; thus, if I have a
vacation near to where I work, I would not truly relax. In other
words, my anxiety would manipulate me throughout the whole
vacation. Last spring, I went on vacation with my friend to
HsinChu. Since Hsinchu was located near to my office, I never
actually felt that I was relaxing because my company was just so
mentally close to me. Sometimes, I would instantly think of what
my colleagues are doing at one very moment, and I would feel a
pang of guilty for running away from work. Examining my mentality
further, I discovered that my anxiety was probably related to the
fact that I was in the same time zone as my co-workers. When I was
in New York, for example, I never had the same problem. Hence, for
the feeling of a true vacation, I would rather have a vacation
further away from where I work.
大家在阅读第一段时，可以注意到：在写作时，我们不但要将自己的立场讲
得明确，在这类“请你选择”的题目中，更要清楚地叙明此选择与你的关
系。这是课堂上我们所强调的“以对象出发”的想点方式，在“需要做出选
择”的题目中此想点方式可代入。除此之外，如果希望能够拿到作文高分，
就必须尽力将段落的例子写得和主题句一样好，切勿鬼打墙而不做深入的阐
述。如何将段落的例子写好呢？这里有两个关键：1) 例子的人事时地物记
得具体 2) 撰写例子的句型稍微换过，多注意句子的关联可帮助你用更自然
的方式写作。
In addition, I care about my privacy, and going to a place far
away from my company enables me to keep my private life to myself.
In specific, my hatred towards colleagues gossiping in the office
oftentimes leads me to choose the most distant destination when I
am booking my next plane ticket. To be honest, once I did
accidentally bumped into my coworker Anna while taking a day off
in Danshui, a famous tourist spot known for its night view.
Luckily, Anna did not recognize me; yet, imagine how horrifying it
would be if she did. Eventually, there will be stories over
stories fabricated around me, and I would never be able to
untangle myself out of these gossips and myths. Since privacy is
considered one of my most important values, I would certainly
choose to travel to places far away from work.
撰写第二段时，记得让第二段的画面核心与第一段有差异。大部分的同学段
落关联上都不多家着墨，实际上，这是最会凸显出你的作文等级的地方。再
来，选定了一个段落核心，就不要再发散地写到其他的理由了，这也是我上
课时常和同学耳提面命的观念。比如，在这段里我写出了”I care about
privacy”，我就会围绕着 “privacy”的概念申论，在撰写例子时，我的
关键字 “myths and gossips” 也是拿来证明“我有多厌恶 “自己的
privacy” 被他人破坏”。因此，各位不难发现，其实要写出一篇好作文，
需要的真的不是很多点，而是“深入论述你的理由的能力”。一篇好作文的
每一段，都应可以让读者清楚知道段落核心。因此，下笔前，同学不妨问自
己，如果这一整段，我只能简化成三个字，我会写什么？想好段落的目的和
重点，再开始写作。
Last but not least, I do want my holidays to be respected, which
is why I would choose to go to more distant places for vacation.
In brief, if I travel to places near my work place, my co-workers
will not recognize that I am indeed off work. In short, they will
continue giving me work to do, and eventually my holidays will be
spoiled. For instance, once, I actually went on vacation in the
island, and I discovered that my holidays were not respected by
others at all. When my company had problems, my supervisor called
me directly and asked me to log on my computer immediately to deal
with an urgent request. When I told her that I was on vacation,
she replied that since I was still in Taiwan, it should not be so
big a problem for me to help her solve the case. In comparison,
my co-worker went on holiday exactly the same day as me, and we
were on our holidays for the exact same number of days. The only
difference we had between each other was that she went on holidays
in Spain, whereas I went on holidays closer to my company. My
co-worker Elaine was never called for this issue. From my story,
it is obvious why I would never choose to go on vacations near to
my company again.
刚开始写这一段时，我其实将这一段写得特别短（为了大家，我之后将画面
又补上了）。真正考试时，如果时间不够，应该尽量力求段落均匀、平衡。
这时，你可以选择写较少的细节，但在与题目有关的画面上，应还是要特别
强调（比如：Taiwan, Spain/ got called to solve a problem, she was
never called 都再次呼应我的“短距离的旅行不被同事看成放假，因此假
期会不被尊重”)。
最后，在写作时，大家应该会发现，我并不避开使用简短的句子。实际上，
简短的句子更有力道，且重点更明确，因此，写作时不应该只专注于很长很
复杂的句子，而应该要交错使用不同的句型，作文才会看起来美美的，也才
可以拿到高分喔！
最后，和大家分享我的最后一段：
It is undeniable that people cannot be irresponsible on their work
while they are away on vacation. Yet, for the sake of a true work-
life balance, I believe it would be best for me to travel outside
the territories of my work place. Only by doing so would I really
enjoy my vacation and reset myself for the next challenge in my
job.
最后一段的重点就是将自己的立场重新申论出来，并且尽力将态度推到最
满！在头尾处，你可以练习有多一点个人笔锋，唯一需要注意的，就是不要
剧情跳得太夸张、莫名喔！
以上，是今天与大家分享的写作范文分析，希望大家品尝愉快，也在阅读的
过程中，有很多成长和获得喔！
～～SK2 Lia