个人学经历背景：
国立大学研所肄业
欲应征之职务：
国外业务
自传履历内容：
各位前辈们好 我是一名女性 有点资深了 年纪34岁 有工作经验8年了
以前的工作主要是国外业务人员 累积有4年半经历
最近正在找工作 却投了198封履历 却没有任何公司面试机会
希望可以看出哪边有问题?
请各位前辈不另指教 给予指点 谢谢！
以下为敝人的英文自传：（不能透露的就以AAA表示）
My name is AAA who graduates from National AAA University with the major in
AAA Administration which is related to public management, law and politics.
When I was a graduate of college, I was interested in law; therefore, I
passed the entrance exam to be a graduate school student whose major is AAA
law. However after a period of time, I chose to pursue the working career.
When I stepped forward to the society, I became the international trader at
AAA Corp. whose product was medical equipment.
At that time, I learned a lot from my colleagues about building the essential
working attitudes and cultivating basic skills.
I dealt with the shipping documents for making the product's delivery more
efficient and more smooth.
With the first job's base, I turned to AAA Technology to work as an
international sales specialist for selling the cameras to Europe.
I had been to England, France, Germany, Belgium, Ireland, and the Netherlands
on my own with business trips from which I got big deals and great fruitful
business developments for our company.
Afterwards, I made a decision to transfer my job to a traditional company
whose field is knitting cap and whose customer is Nike.
I supervised all the sales sample, proto, production sample and bulk for
their production processes.
Then I change to work as a waitress at the Chinese Cuisine Restaurant, AAA
Kitchen around two years. I learned how to fulfill every consumer's needs.
The recent jobs are :
(1)International trader at AAA Corp.(Chemical Co.)
To make the shipping processes and book the cargo space.
(2)Operator at AAA Hotel.(5-star Hotel)
To put through the phone calls directly to the exact department and the room
guests and also get the know-how about the Opera system for keying in the
booking info.
I believe that I can do my best for your company and make mutual progresses
for your business.

....你先分段排版吧，这样谁要看啊

kind advice.

kind advice (advice不可数

谢谢！ http://bbs.pigai.org/t48479-1-1.html

满好奇为何你一毕业就可以当业务 ，第一家是大公司吗

当时公司是想找有法律背景的人因为必须跟医疗法律事务所联系公司是中型的50人 但在那个行业是龙头我有修外文系的西洋文学概论 拿96分 有写在履历

我相信比起kindly advice，kind advice肯定比较常见不过原po觉得自己没错就算了。另advice不可数。

advice不可数 但是当作all kinds of advices时以种类的意思 是可以加s的

你这堆东西应用条列式写出重点就好.公司职位职责然后再加cover letter.要写你有什么特质和能力去得到新工作

在国贸版看过原PO的发文历程 我觉得你值得更好的处境能说的就是请多点耐心。 另外，Sara的回文意见不错可参考

以你目前写法,很难看出你有什么能力.

我正在找好工作 希望大家介绍！

应征业务最重要的是数字：妳拿到多少钱的订单？还有面试的时侯最好掰个理由：为何中间转服务业，以及妳最后选择重操旧业的原因我觉得原 po做回国外业务非常适合，只是面试会被问到的问题要先演练一下。包装自己，薪水开个3万8也不为过。加油！

加油！感恩楼上^^

对自己英文这么有自信就不用求指教英文了吧很明显这则自传转成中文是毫无重点(对有8年经验的人)真要评论英文遣词用字 有好几处都看得出来是中文硬转我就点到为止了

楼上说的是 确实我是中文硬转的刚才某楼上说要条列式和先近后远 我就在改履历了这篇就废弃不用了

文法不要大错即可，像kindly advice和kind advice对妳的履历影响根本不大。重要的是妳英文履历所描述的跟一般人不多，没啥亮点，这才是问题。

老外根本觉得kind这两个词用这超怪 是亚州人积非成是

....你前几周不是说要往设计去?

一直用which who whose 当连接词看起来好累，不能省略一下吗而且第一句My name 跟 who graduate 用在一起感觉不太顺吧...who当连接词在文章比较常用来叙述第三人称吧

重点不是英文 是你的经历 8年经验却还投198封履历感觉你自己都还没有找到自己的定位 好好想想吧

你的第一句就太长了 太多关代…

要不要看看专业resume 怎么写，履历是看你做过的事，成就的事，而非写个人传记。条例式就好， 不需要写文章。

真心建议，英文履历不要写文章，就是学经历英文就好，自传就面试讲就好，所以要大概准备一两分钟自我介绍。另外，个人觉得，与其写长句，不如把一些有which, that的句子都写成短句。

关代好多…真心觉得要改掉这些累赘用法

例如第一句，My name is AAA, i majored in Zzz when i was in college. it is a study of public management and law. 之类的

回头看了您的文章，您过去这么多年真的是国外业务吗？会使用英文信件往来吗？

通顺最重要，重写吧

除了文法，整篇重点只有两段，真的写不好再站内信问我吧

国外业务的信件往来? 或许原po自传有改写必要 但从自传去质疑原po国外业务的回信经验与能力? 我只能说 不仅无关 而且无知

先Google妳的产业的sample resume再照着改吧

加油