衣柜里的贼—Burglar in the Closet (1978)
故事起源：
Bernie某天去看牙的时候，牙医照例一边补牙一边碎碎唸，没想到唸著唸著，居然把
Bernie是雅贼的事情给抖出来—原来是想要Bernie去帮他把送给前妻的那些珠宝给偷回来
……
事情发展：
正如同所有侦探剧一般，死神上身的Bernie这次不只是人死的时候在场，甚至还听到了事发
经过。想当然耳，就算了无痕迹地逃离现场，肯定还是会被视为嫌犯，因此只好再度扮演侦
探，还自己清白。甚至他连东西都没到手，就被歹徒顺手摸走，还真是赔了夫人又折兵。
既然凶手不是他或是前夫的话，就只好去找其他利害关系人：死者的三名男友。最后原来是
牵涉到假钞……
当然最后Bernie也是顺利取得凶手自白，可是每次都搞栽赃这套好像有点贱耶 ><
心得：
结尾Bernie在分析涉案人员时，曾经说过“Crystal三个男友里面有两个涉案就已经很了不
起了，倒不必认为三个统统涉案”结果还真的就是三个都有问题，印证了一丘之貉这句成语
。平常看新闻也有同样的感想；有些人会扯上命案，真的都是自己也有问题。你不去认识那
些不三不四的人，跟他们没有金钱或情感上的纠葛，人家会来找你麻烦？安分守己的人，只
会倒楣遇到抢匪、意外等等，不会遭遇什么凶杀情杀的。
有趣的桥段：
Bernie到了Crystal她家，侧耳偷听屋里动静—
I put my ear to the door and listened for a moment, and then I retrieved my ear
and went to work. XDDDDD 好个把耳朵收回来，这种说法莫名地有喜感
Bernie跟一幅画的对话—
I was between women myself at the time and told her with my eyes that I could
make her life a joy and a fulfillment, but her chalky blues met mine and she let
me know that she was sure I’d be just as big a letdown as everybody else. I fi-
gured she was probably right.
between women 是哪招啦 XDDDDD 这样要怎么讲，待女友中吗 XDDDD
Bernie去看牙—
She'd shown me for what seemed like the thousandth time the proper way to brush
my teeth (and every damned dental hygienist shows you a different way, and each
swears it’s the only way.) XDDDDDDDDDDD
第五章开头，先是Jillian对Bernie说“你好棒喔～”，但是Bernie接着叙述了一堆其他的
事情，讲了太多，要再切回来时，变成—
“You’re fantastic, Bernie.”
Actually, she didn’t say it again. I’m repeating it so as to preserve the
thread of this narrative.
XDDDDDDD 为了要连贯，还自己补充一次，笑死我 XDDDDD
Bernie踩到狗屎—
……ultimately stepped smack into a souvenir left on the pavement by the galum-
phing Great Dane or another of his ilk. I said a four-letter word, a precise de
-scription indeed of that in which I had stepped.
讲到Bernie要去找那个叫做Grabow的画家，打电话却一直扑空—
I called the Koltnow Gallery and nobody answered.
I called Jillian's apartment and nobody answered.
I called Craig's office and nobody answered.
I called 411…… 要是打查号台还 nobody answered 就好笑了 XDDDDDDD
然后—
I dialed my own number and established that I wasn’t home either. The whole
world was out to lunch. XDDDDD 卜老就是喜欢让笔下的人物做一些很多余的事才那么好
笑啦～
Bernie打去画廊问Gradow的住址，对方说在国王街—
“Well, King Street is in SoHo, but just barely. It’s one block So of Ho.”
She laughed mechanically, as if she used this little play on words frequently
and was getting sick of it. “South of Houston, that is.”老实说，还真有点冷啊
Bernie去找Gradow被识破开溜—
and then I straightened up and ran like a sonofabitch.
狗娘养的跑起来是怎样啊 XDDDDDDDDD
后来Bernie逃进一间酒吧休息，听到隔壁的客人在聊棒球—
Bobby Thompson’s home run won the 1951 pennant for the Giants. They were the
New York Giants then <