威廉老师分享：3月26日托福独立写作范文与解析
各位同学大家好，
上周考到这一篇，看似容易的题目，但也容易偏题，
威廉老师在这和大家分享这篇的解析！
祝福大家都考取理想成绩。
《字神真经第一套: 独立写作》
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because
of the loss of old friends.
威廉老师解题:
(old friends)老朋友是否会由于空间发生变化而丧失?？这种感情是否会随着时间空间
的变化而减弱吗？老朋友的定义是? 就是因为是老朋友所以应该就是不会因为空间不同
而不理对方。但话又说回来，到了一个新的地方，自己也会因为环境而又交了新朋友或
是旧朋友因为跟你的距离远了，也许他们的生活圈也有变化了，也有了新朋友。但说实
在话，有没有心，要不要维持这友谊，才是最重要，现在科技发达了，距离应该不是问
题~~~ (有时，最远的距离，就是心爱的人在你身旁，可是他却不知道你在喜欢他/她
→well，写作，最害怕的就是这样偏题!!)
重点: 写时要把”Old”这个字也写出喔! 还有一点很重要，就是→不是
只有搬到”新”地方，以题目的隐含意义来说，是搬到一个”远”地方，这文中的条件
情境才可以发挥。
Sample writing:
People need friends. As the proverb says, “A friend in need is a friend
indeed.” For old friends, people have been spending time together for a long
time and they understand each other well. So whether it is a good thing to
move to a new place on the condition of the risk of losing old friends
depends on how people interpret the term “friendship.”
To me, personally, I do not agree with the statement. That is,
old friends will not leave even if people move to a new city or a new country.
Initially, new technology allows people to connect each other in a
convenient way.(主题)With the development of the latest technology,
such as Facebook, Skype and smartphones, people can keep in touch with their
friends whenever they desire, wherever they are. For instance, when a student
moves to a new town which is far away from the place he or she lives, old
friends can be reached just a phone call away. They can still talk, chat and
even see each other real time through webcams.By sharing the time
together, friends can still know each other well in what is happening and in
the moment when good, sad or exciting things occur. Such emotional dependence
as well as support is not severed just because old friends move to a new city
or country.(拉回题目)
Secondly, if old friends move to a new far place, the new environment
can tighten the friendship.That is, friends have more topics and life
experience to share. When people relocate to a new place, they need to
familiarize themselves with the new place, new environment and new people.
Especially when people move to a place far away from their original
neighborhood, they will definitely have more to say and share about,
for instance, different kinds of traditional food in the new city or country.
As a good case in point,one of my friends moved to Chicago and he
shared a special pizza, called “deep dish pizza” with me. Having discussed
about the cheese used on it and how the taste is like, we talked every day and
I ended up paying him a visit in the summer. By exchanging information with
each other, people can share their opinions on everything, such as culture.
Old friends will keep updating each other new exciting things around them no
matter where they are. Through constant talking or discussing new topics,
friendship can be built up stronger. Another example, by living in a new
country, we can help old friends to arrange a living place or to help them
buy items in a less expensive price as in garments, watches or vitamin
supplement.The process of contacting each other on different
purposes upon living in a new place, friendship will certainly be closer.
Coins have two different sides that if we cut it through in a
different angel, long physical distance would of course have an impact on the
friendships, new or old alike.Owing to moving into a new city or country,
people have less opportunities or accesses to meeting friends. It is more
difficult to easily see each other like before. When people move to a new
place, they also need to take more time to adapt themselves to the new
environment. Meanwhile, they need to find their own new friends in, for
instance, their working place, in the community or in the school. This is
true to some extent; however, in my opinion,with the development
of advanced technology, mobile phones, MSN and other social websites, it is
indeed possible for one to make a contact with some friends instantly.
Besides, intercity trains and airplanes can also help people go from one
country to another in just few hours. In this case, without living
in the same city or country, friends can also communicate with each other like
the old time and we would not lose them.
In this global village, it is not a rare sight to witness people moving from
town to town or even from one country to another country. Due to work
requirements, new opportunities or marriages, modern people are constantly on
the move. It is not logical if we are just afraid of moving to a new place on
the account of losing old friends. Old friends are those people who
have known each other for a long period of time. Thus, I do not agree with
statement.
其它精简写法:
首段:
1: To move or not to move: That is the question. Will people really lose
their old friends when they move to a new place far away? Personally, I do
not think so, for they can still in close contact in many ways with their old
friends with the distance. (Word count: 49)
2:“A friend in need is a friend indeed. ”Old friendship will not
disappear if people move to a new town or country. Still some people might
think that distance will make the friendship diminished; for me, I oppose to
this statement for some reasons described below. (Word count: 46)
大纲提取范例(一)
1. 立场: 老朋友不会因为你搬走而失去
可用的proverb“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”
2. 中间段
第一段:
Topic Sentence→Latest Technology can help people to keep contacting.
a. Facebook, Skype and smartphones, MSN, Webcams: They can still talk, chat
and even see each other real time through webcams.
b. Can still share good times or bad times together→friendship is there
自己想到的→poor test scores, friends consolation. Birthday, call me, send me presents,
sing happy birthdays songs to me…
第二段:
Topic Sentence→the new environment can tighten the friendship
instead of estranging/ alienating/ departing from the old friendship.
a. New places or environment make people have more topics to say→food, culture
Chicago→deep dish pizza
自己想到的→Japan→noodles→salty→need to make louder eating sound→respect
Korea→Kimchi→spicy food→tolerance of spiciness increase.
Philadelphia→Hoagies, a kind of hot dog, larger…
b. By living in a new country, we can help old friends to arrange a living
place or to help them buy items in a less expensive price as in garments→
自己想到的→(outlet, books, school information)
第三段:(让步段)会失去老友
Old friends will also need to adapt to the new environment. Less time with us.
a. More difficult to easily see each other like before
b. Need to make new friends. (Their working place, community or in the
school.)
c. HOWEVER, technology can conquer this difficult + convenient transportation
(intercity trains and airplanes)
3. 最后段
尾段 + 让步段
1: Irrefutably, it may not be a good thing to move to a new place far away
since some old friends will be in less contact, leading to the loss of
friendship that distance really estranges people. However, I still think this
will not happen readily. As Benjamin Franklin once said, “What are left in
the old days of a person? Old dogs, ready money and— old friends.” Old
friends are there always. (Word count: 73)
2: Admittedly, some people may worry about losing old friends if they move
to a new place or country far away, such as adaption to the new environment
or new friendship cultivation and the like, making them alienated from old
friends. To me, nevertheless, I still think that it is not an adverse thing
to do so. Life is short, “friendship” long, after all.