I suppose I was always an unhappy kid who thought too much.
I’m so detached from the world that when I’m in this headspace, I don’t get knee jerk positive emotions about a lot of things people get happy about, for example new food to try or social interactions, or maybe a job that’s adequately done.
It’s almost a routine for me to have existential crisis every once in a while, but exhaustion from work dumbs me down till when I leave work all I want is mindless entertainment.
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My supervisor is such a well meaning old school man that he doesn’t really get the concept of modern gender politics. I hope when I’m old I can still be open minded enough that my values align with the progressive.

But no one said you have to feel happy about thingsthat others feel positive about. If you don’t enjoythe new experience then you don’t enjoy it, it’sno big deal. what matter is to find your own answer/ what ticks for you, and that job(?) is on you.