首先先澄清，这不是电影片名啦～
会发这篇文是因为不久前本版有人问起查克罗礼士(Chuck Norris)这位老牌动作演员
（图：http://ppt.cc/bxF7）
也提到Chuck Norris Facts这个网络恶搞现象（#1DEzG4Xu）
这跟恶搞“华神现象”或“铃木一朗现象”很类似
就是杜撰一些有趣的事蹟来讽刺或取笑罗礼士的形象
其实罗礼士是真正的空手道高手，多次赢得全美空手道冠军
也曾接受过李小龙的训练
他也学李小龙，自创了一派综合格斗体系叫Chun Kuk Do
翻译为"春谷道"或"万能法"
而他自从在1972年的电影《猛龙过江》中跟李小龙在古罗马竞技场搏击之后
就变成美国动作片硬汉的代表人物(比阿诺跟史特龙都早多了)
他的戏路也是从一而终：武功高强、男子气概、善用各种刀枪、女人为他疯狂…
要嘛在大都市里横扫流氓，要嘛在越南丛林里打击盗匪
而且，今年已经71岁的他，一直到2005年都还有动作片演出
从那时起网络上就出现爆多“罗礼士真相”(Chuck Norris Facts)
来向这位在电影界和武术界都名声远播的阳刚硬汉“另类致敬”
而罗礼士本人也并不感觉受到冒犯
还将这类文章放到了他的网站上
甚至曾在一个脱口秀节目中选出十个他自己最喜欢的“真相”
以下节录一些我觉得很贱的Chuck Norris Facts：
There was no atomic bomb explosion in Hiroshima, it was Chuck Norris
jumping out of the plane and punching the ground.
广岛从来没被什么原子弹炸过。是罗礼士跳下飞机，然后一拳轰在地上。
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs
of life.
罗礼士曾经登陆过火星，这就是为什么那里没有生命迹象。
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage
to tell him yet.
其实罗礼士20年前就已经死了，只是死神还没有足够的勇气去告诉他。
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
罗礼士就是为什么威力还躲著的原因。
(“威力在哪里”的梗详见此：http://ppt.cc/lfMy)
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
死神曾经有过一次“濒-罗礼士经验”。
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
罗礼士能够关上一扇旋转门。
Chuck Norris was denied auditioning for "Mission Impossible", for
obvious reasons.
电影“不可能的任务”剧组拒绝罗礼士去试演，原因很明显。
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...... As The Force.
罗礼士在六部“星际大战”电影中都有参与演出……他饰演“原力”。
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly
foolish enough to attack him.
罗礼士不可能得到心脏病，他的心脏还没笨到去攻击他。
(heart attack双关语)
When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going
to end in 2012, he resonded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day."
当有人问罗礼士相不相信2012年会世界末日，他回答“要看我那天心情好不好”。
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
罗礼士可以摩擦两块冰块来生火。
Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face.
We now have questions.
罗礼士有天遇到惊叹号，并在它脸上揍了一拳。所以我们现在有了问号。
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away
from Chuck Norris.
我们活在一个扩展中的宇宙。所有事物都在全力远离罗礼士。
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke...
that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
有一次罗礼士恶作剧尿尿在一辆货柜车的油箱里…那部车后来变成我们熟知的柯博文。
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets
the information he wants.
罗礼士从不读书。他只是狠狠瞪著书本，直到书本给了他想要的资讯。
Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.
罗礼士不使用推特…他已经在跟着你了。
If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off
with a warning.
如果罗礼士被逮到超速，他会开给鸽子一张警告然后让他离开。
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's
pushing the Earth down.
当罗礼士做伏地挺身的时候，他不是把自己撑起来，他是把地球压下去。
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game
of tennis.
罗礼士是地球上唯一在网球比赛中赢过一堵砖墙的男人。
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second
Wednesday of the month.
罗礼士曾出卖过自己的灵魂给恶魔，以换取他的帅气脸蛋以及和外表不相称的高超
格斗技术。当交易完成后不久，罗礼士给了恶魔一记回旋踢并把自己的灵魂拿了回
来。恶魔出于一种奇妙的可笑心情而无法生气，反而觉得自己早应该想到这点。他
们现在每个月的第二个星期三都一起打扑克牌。
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
罗礼士不需要呼吸，他只是把氧气当作人质。
Chuck Norris invented water.
查克罗礼士发明了水。
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
中国的长城原本是建来阻挡罗礼士的，而它很悲惨地失败了。
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris
has more money than you.
如果你有五块钱，而罗礼士也有五块钱，他有的钱比你多。
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't
Jesus' birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Chuck Norris and to
this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
罗礼士有次在12月25日寄了张生日卡给耶稣，而那不是耶稣的生日。耶稣太害怕了
而不敢纠正罗礼士，所以今天12月25日被大家认为是圣诞节。
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is
afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
罗礼士睡觉时会开着小夜灯。不是因为罗礼士害怕黑暗，而是黑暗害怕罗礼士。
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
罗礼士去汉堡王点了一个大麦克，而且他拿到了。
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped
people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck
Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
残障车位不是专门为了残疾人士而设的。事实上它是在标明这是罗礼士的车位，而
如果你停在这里，你会被他打成半残。
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wiseman, jealous
of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.
罗礼士其实是第四位贤者。他带给耶稣宝宝的礼物是“大胡子”，而耶稣终其一生
都很骄傲地戴着它。其他三位贤者因为嫉妒罗礼士的礼物得到耶稣最多的宠爱，而
发挥影响力删去圣经中对罗礼士的记载。不久之后，他们三位都死于罗礼士的回旋
踢之下。
其实网络上还有很多乱好笑的，在http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com 网上每天都
还有新的创作，只要在该网站注册，大家也可以写下自己的Chuck Norris Facts唷！