[分享] Pin TOEFL Davin 独立写作的两种错误

楼主: davinlin6666 (tereyaki)   2021-04-12 15:38:04
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一年里为学生改了无数篇的独立写作,其中很多导致大扣分的错点在于观点过于模糊。独
立写作强调在特定立场下用清楚的论述给予支撑,好的论述则会在每一段落中会以主题句
的形式浓缩呈现,而这个浓缩通常是考生的瓶颈,却也是实战评分的重要关键。
要完成主题句一定要注意清晰与准确,句子的逻辑关系切莫复杂,直接造成读者难以判读
主题句与题目之间的关系;同时也应避免概念的范畴过于广泛,考生不得不耗费大量篇幅
跟细节来完善主题句带来的观点。以下简单展示这两种错误:
题目:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Teachers should not make their social or political views known to students in
the classroom.
1. 复杂逻辑
To begin with, every teacher grew up in a diverse environment, thus forming
political views that could be completely different, not like the uniform
knowledge of math and science they teach.
主题句想传达的核心其实是teachers‘ political views are different from what
they teach,但它把这个观点的远因(教师生长背景)与近因(不同政治观点)纳入其中,导
致难以理解观点的骨架,更显得落落长。
2. 概念的范畴过于广泛
Everyone has his or her own thought.
简单的主题句确实吃香,但概念若过于模糊却会适得其反。假设将这句拆解会发现两个密
不可分的主要角色:everyone跟own thought,后续的细节也应该跟着这两个主角延展,
一路连结到题目立场与主旨,例如:“学生”的“独立思考”,所以从everyone到
students、own thought到independent thinking都需要数句去阐述,如此一来就文章会
纠缠于一些旁枝末节的内容而不知所云。

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