大家好，
我是SK2的Rosa，
这周在脸书上分享了[托福写作跟GRE/GMAT作文如何不同]，
影片连结：https://www.facebook.com/yaya.hsu.14/videos/10214894466742572/
但了解并非每位同学都习惯看影片，
因此，在此整理了这次分享的重点，希望能够帮助到同学写出高分作文。
我相信只要观念通了，人人都是可以考到28分的！
接下来会谈到这三个部分：
一、TOEFL写作跟GRE/GMAT的不同
二、分析一篇作文实例
三、最常见的写作（主题句、例子）问题
四、给正在练托福写作的同学一些建议
一、TOEFL写作跟GRE/GMAT的不同
GRE和GMAT考的是逻辑分析能力，但是托福主要考的是说服力。正因为两个
考试的本质和原则是不同的，所以写法也会有所不同。GRE和GMAT的作文常
常会两边都分析到优缺点、也会常用让步段以及用上许多模板填充整篇文章
冲字数。但是托福写作最重要的是选边站，立场清楚、理由明确。因此，我
不建议同学在作文中使用让步段。此外，也不需要使用过多的模板，或是为
了冲字数写个五六百字。其实，由于托福写作看的是说服力，所以只要写抄
过300字并且言之有物就可以了。务必让读者清楚理解你每句话的功能。请
同学记住simple and clear这个写作的最高指导原则。
二、找出作文问题并且检视自己的弱点
既然了解了写作原则—simple and clear，接下来，让我们来看一篇作文
吧！以下这篇作文是三位不同的同学写的，我把几个最常见的问题集结成一
篇文章。请先找一张白纸，或是把以下作文印出来，仔细地挑出各段你发现
的问题。做完之后，再看后面的讲解，这样的学习效果是最好的喔！
题目：Cooperative ability is more important than leadership.
People often possess different perspectives on the issue whether
cooperative ability is more important than leadership. As for me,
I strongly contend that cooperative ability is indeed more essential
than leadership.
First of all, people place emphasis on the outcome, and good
cooperation can bring about positive results. For instance, when I
was preparing for mid-term exam in college, I was extremely scared
about economics. In addition, to defeateconomics, I grouped a
study team. Then, we cooperated on different topics of economics
and discussed the problem we met. Consequently, we all got high
score on the exam. However, if I studied on my own, I might not
have dealt with the difficulties I met. Hence, I might have failed
on the test.
Secondly, efficiency is the key for people to finish their job and
cooperative ability can save lots of efforts and time. For
example, when my father worked for the Taiwanese government ten
years ago, he always had difficulties proposing a new work plan
for the coming years. As a result, he worked overtime every week
to deal with it. However, when he started to work in collaboration
with others, he found that it is much easier for him to draft a
practical plan. To elaborate, he could have a brainstorming
session with others and therefore spark new inspirations. Besides,
he could discover his blind spots more easily by discussion and
hence avoid potential mistakes. Obviously, cooperation benefited
him so much that he no longer worked overtime.
Last but not least, the teamwork between nations provides each
other with advantages. For example, in 2011, Japan experienced
a severe earthquake, and this disaster left thousands of people dead
and damaged a great number of buildings. When the tragic news spread out,
the Taiwanese government volunteered to contribute big money and
resources to aid victims. Therefore, Japanese show more respect to
Taiwan, and Japanese had sufficient capital to rebuild homeland. On the
contrary, if Taiwanese government keeps silent without any action,
the Taiwanese might get less help when encountering difficulties.
In conclusion, since people are sometimes in need of others, it is
significant for people to cultivate the cooperative ability.
接着，让我们来分析各段的问题。
Introduction:
第一个段落有明确的立场，没有问题。
Body Paragraph:
第一个理由例子过于铺陈、例子细节太少、也犯了反例逻辑的问题：
First of all, people place emphasis on the outcome, and good
cooperation can bring about positive results. For instance, when I
was preparing for mid-term exam in college, I was extremely scared
about economics. In addition, to defeateconomics, I grouped a
study team. Then, we cooperated on different topics of economics
and discussed the problem we met. Consequently, we all got high
score on the exam. However, if I studied on my own, I might not
have dealt with the difficulties I met. Hence, I might have failed
on the test.
首先，整段到倒数第四行才讲到了cooperate，例子前提可再缩短，让
cooperate的细节比例多一些。此外，cooperate可以换字成其他的概念，例
如：discussed, shared, listened to…, provided feedback, etc. 最后
反例应该要提leadership而非不cooperate结果会如何。整段可改成：
First of all, people place emphasis on the outcome, and good
cooperation can bring about positive results. For instance, when I
prepared for my mid-term exam in college, I grouped a study team.
At that time, we did research on different topics of economics and
discussed problems we met. Also, we shared our notes with each
other and provided feedback on each individual section of our
project. Consequently, we all got high scores on the exam.
However, if I was the leader of the group, then I might not have
been able to deal with the difficulties I met. Hence, I might have
failed on the test.
第二个理由：
此段有许多问题，主题句包含两个概念，而且例子铺陈，相关细节不够。
Secondly, efficiency is the key for people to finish their job and
cooperative ability can save lots of efforts and time. For
example, when my father worked for the Taiwanese government ten
years ago, he always had difficulties proposing a new work plan
for the coming years. As a result, he worked overtime every week
to deal with it. However, when he started to work in collaboration
with others, he found that it is much easier for him to draft a
practical plan. To elaborate, he could have a brainstorming
session with others and therefore spark new inspirations. Besides,
he could discover his blind spots more easily by discussion and
hence avoid potential mistakes. Obviously, cooperation benefited
him so much that he no longer worked overtime.
主题句如果要谈time，就不要谈到efforts。例子里面对于现况的描述太
长，可以直接阐述父亲自从合作之后，如何增加效率，例子里面每句话都要
提到时间或是高效率的词。此外，不要无关的优点，例如：Besides, he
could discover his blind spots more easily by discussion and hence
avoid potential mistakes. 这句话与效率无关就不要放。
整段可改成：
Secondly, efficiency is the key for people to finish their job and
cooperative ability can save lots of time. For example, when my
father worked for the Taiwanese government ten years ago, he had
to often communicate with people from various departments and
fields. Once he started to work in collaboration with others, he
found that it takes him only 1 day to draft a practical plan. To
elaborate, he could use 2 hours to have a brainstorming session
with others and therefore spark new inspirations within no time.
Obviously, cooperation benefited him so much that he no longer
worked overtime.
第三个理由：
此段也存在着许多问题。首先，主题句没有态度(important)就离题了，而
且主题句太空泛。
再者，例子无关、铺陈且发散。同时，这个段落也有反例逻辑的问题。
Last but not least, the teamwork between nations provides each
other with advantages. For example, in 2011, Japan experienced a
severe earthquake, and this disaster left thousands of people dead
and damaged a great number of buildings. When the tragic news spread out,
the Taiwanese government volunteered to contribute big money and
resources to aid victims. Therefore, Japanese show more respect to
Taiwan, and Japanese had sufficient capital to rebuild homeland. On the
contrary, if Taiwanese government keeps silent without any action,
the Taiwanese might get less help when encountering difficulties.
主题句应该要先定义important，也要讲清楚是什么优点？拥有更好的形象
以及更多尊重？还是在危机时能够获得更多帮助？如此一来，例子才能够句
句扣紧主题句，而不会讲太多优点，导致读者抓不到例子与主题句的关联
性。最后，反例应该提到leadership而不是没有帮忙会如何。
可改成：
Last but not least, it is important for people to gain reputation,
and cooperating can bring better reputation. For example, when
Taiwanese people learned that Japan experienced a severe
earthquake, people worked together on Facebook and other social
media to gather food and clothes. Furthermore, a lot of people
shared this tragic news with friends and family, and successfully
donated thousands of dollars to Japanese people. Therefore, after
the disaster, Japanese showed much more respect to Taiwan, and
Taiwanese tourists always received a warm welcome when they visit
Japan. On the contrary, if Taiwanese people had fought to be
leaders instead of teaming up, they might not have sent much
timely help. Consequently, the Taiwanese might have been severely
criticized by the world.
Conclusion:
一句不成段，应该改成两句话。
In conclusion, since people are sometimes in need of others, it is
significant for people to cultivate the cooperative ability.
可改成：
In conclusion, it is significant for people to cultivate cooperative
ability. After all, people care about positive outcomes, efficiency,
and reputation.
三、最常见的写作问题
三大常见的主题句问题：
a. 主题句离题
如果题目里面有态度或目的的话，主题句就必须定义态度和目的，才不会离题。
＊想知道自己是否会离题吗？
请看这篇文章 “你知道90%的同学，写作都会离题吗？”
http://sk2toefl.blogspot.tw/2010/05/90.html
b. 主题句包含两个概念
一段只沟通一个概念。不同的概念可以于下个段落阐述。
c. 主题句太空泛
虽然主题句的概念不可太特定，否则不好发挥，但是也不可太空泛。
举例来说：advantages的范围太广了，是哪方面的advantage？请讲清楚。
三大常见的例子问题：
a. 铺陈
例子要以改变的过程为主，而非阐述现况或是改变前的状况。
b. 没解释到
例子尽量不要重复主题句里面的用词遣字，应用其他方式表达同个概
念，例如：想到cooperate，就想到discuss, work together, shared…，
此时，应该在例子里面多用这类的字眼，不要重复使用cooperate这个字。
c. 反例逻辑
反例并非放个not就好，而是要看题目比较的是什么？把另外一个选
择当反例。
四、结语
假如你能够在写作时，避免上述主题句以及例子相关的问题，其实就很不错
了，作文也会有一定的分数。最后，我建议目前正在练写作的同学，不要急
著写整篇作文，而是先了解写作的评分方式，再练习写出清楚的主题句、具
体的例子，还有学会检视作文的好坏。具备上述功力后，再练习写整篇作
文，不只更有效率，也能够目标28分喔！
祝同学考试顺利！
Cheers,
SK2 Rosa ^____^
PS 你想要学更多写作的观念吗？想要了解怎么看一篇文章才会快吗？
欢迎同学参加明天下午举办的免费公开课，相信能够对你有很大的帮助喔！
4/29（日）13:00-15:00 托福阅读+写作公开课（Rosa & Lia 主讲）
公开课内容：https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/TOEFL_iBT/M.1524729246.A.FC4.html
快速报名连结：http://sk2toefl.blogspot.tw/p/blog-page_20.html