[分享] 超难写作题怎么想点?SK2 Lia以题示范!

楼主: dearamelia (Lia Hsu)   2018-02-15 14:26:04
大家新年快乐~我是SK2 TOEFL 的Lia~
今天是除夕,我想大部份板上的朋友,应该也都是选择新年和家人好好过节
吧!然而,过年归过年,也别忘了定时温书,好好充实自己的脑袋喔!为了
帮助大家在过年时节保有唸书的动力,今天我决定和大家一起写作文,直接
示范一题作文题目给大家看!你可以一边阅读这篇范文,一边思考这篇作文
的审题想点方式。如果你有任何的心得,欢迎分享!
Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is a waste of money for the government to fund space travel and
space exploration.
People have always argued on whether space exploration is indeed
necessary. Neil Armstrong was the first person to step on the moon
on 1969.That was a big jump for technology development, and from
then on, hundreds of astronauts had tried to investigate in the
Universe to look for new scientific discoveries. However, should
these acts be the priority of the government? Is space exploration
of any importance? In my concerns, it would actually be a waste of
money for the government to put big investments into space travel.
The following are my arguments.
First, with limited budget, the government should deal with issues
more urgent, and space travel is definitely not one of these
issues. On this planet, we have problems of starvation and war in
developing countries and problems of obesity and cancer in
developed countries. In other words, there are lists of challenges
for every single country on the globe, and these problems will
likely influence the health of citizens and the political power of
the country. Compared to these problems, space travel is only an
investment made for an unknown future. The payback for this
investment is not certain and not guaranteed. This is why space
exploration is a waste of money. Compared to funding space
travels, putting funds into rebuilding homes for people, for
example, would probably be a better act of the government. For
people and the government, it is easy to see the good deeds money
can bring. We are able to envision how much money will be spent on
the project; because of this, it would also be easier for the
government to allocate budgets appropriately. In short, because
solving problems that happen on the Earth would be more practical
and also more urgent, funding space travel would actually be a
waste of the government’s money.
Second, the government should put all its citizens into
consideration, yet if it decide to put money in space exploration,
the government would only benefit a few people in the country.
These people, mainly rich people, should not be of the government’s
concern because they live life happily without too much worry.
Imagine if the government put money in helping astronauts to explore
Venus. Few individuals will find this issue interesting. To put it
further, even fewer will actually gain benefits from the exploration
of Venus. Indeed, people might argue that with these discoveries,
the final results of these researches will eventually benefit the
society as a whole. However, since research results have to be tested
over and over again, that will not happen until probably the next
generation. To conclude, if the government put funds into space
exploration, it will only be giving benefit to the researcher and
the rich. This equals to putting the poor and other ordinary ones
in stake, which is why the government should not put importance on
funding space travel.
In conclusion, although quite some people will argue that space
exploration has its values, I will strongly oppose to this
concept. Space exploration does has its benefits, yet these
benefits are limited and unpractical. This is why the government
should not invest in space travel; instead, it should give
attention to problems that do indeed make a difference to our
lives.
读完这一篇文章,若你有读过我曾经写过的其他文章,你应该会觉得有些不
一样吧!平时我教实力养成班,我们在练习的,其实就是用最简单的方式和
逻辑,将一篇文章写好、写满。然而,私底下当我自己练习写作,我也会尝
试交换使用不同的结构、句型、单字。今天刚好是农历过年前一天,我想任
性地写一篇我自己喜欢的文章,透过这篇文章,我也想分享我平时对困难题
目的的想点方法。当然,我也用这篇范文,想和大家说,其实所谓的写作结
构或模板,都不应该是拿来死背的,如果你真的想将写作练好,你应该要学
会灵活使用你所学的东西。
这篇文章写的题目较难:你同不同意政府应投资或用财务支持探索外太空的行为?
我特地选了这个题目,因为很多同学都对诸如此类的题目没想法。
这样的没想法情有可原,因为 1)一般人大抵来说对政府都是不太有什么想法的
2) 我们不是太空人,通常对外太空的探索这类议题根本没兴趣。
其实,我和大家一样,也有上面所提的两个大头症。
然而,我还是写出一篇作文来了!你观察得出来,是因为什么原因吗?
其实方法很简单。最简单的方法,就是先去思考你认为的政府是一个什么样
的角色,或是他应是什么样的一个角色。
下笔前,我会先问自己两个问题:1) 政府在我的心中,往往是好的?还是坏
的?如此,我可决定我在写作时的整个笔调。
2) 在我的价值观中/ 或从我的生命经验来看,有没有什么较重大的议题是我
个人比较关心的?从此,我可以判断我要将我的例子往哪里带。
通常,愈有感觉的议题,一个人的论述会愈多、愈丰富,因此,下笔前,你
可以尽可能地思考,哪一个议题是你觉得你比较能够论述完整的?
这些议题和外太空的探索有无相关性?如果有,相似在哪?如果没有,不同
点在哪?在上一篇文章中,我就在写作前想到了这几个议题:癌症(因为我
朋友的长辈最近得癌症了,心里挂念着他)、贫穷地区的教育(毕竟我身为
老师)、贫富差距(我很在意大家是否平等)、近日的花莲地震(有许多人
因为天灾是完全没有家可以住的,连过年都无法过),以及战争和可能致死
的疾病(长存大家心中的议题)。
在写作时,我会将议题拉出来说,然后一个一个对回和“政府”或“外太空
探索”的关联,实际上,就是一场精彩的辩论了。如果你曾经读过我的其他
文章,或是上过我的课,你可能会发现,今天这篇文章里,我并没有遵从
“严格的一段一件事”原则。这是因为,有时候身为作者,真的会在写作的
过程中发现有许多论述可以讲,因此人很容易在段落间又提出新的资讯。从
宽而论,实际上我认为这是没有关系的,因为只要你会归类、归档资讯,很
多你所提出的“相似但不同的观点”,也会因为经过写作者的整合,而让读
者特别容易注意到“相似的部分”。上面的范文中,我就是带了像这样的小
诀窍,来帮助我的读者更加理解我的段落重点的。请再读一次我的各申论段
级其中的元件:
First, with limited budget, the government should deal with issues
more urgent, and space travel is definitely not one of these
issues. On this planet, we have problems of starvation and war in
developing countries and problems of obesity and cancer in
developed countries. In other words, there are lists of challenges
for every single country on the globe, and these problems will
likely influence the health of citizens and the political power of
the country. Compared to these problems, space travel is only an
investment made for an unknown future. The payback for this
investment is not certain and not guaranteed. This is why space
exploration is a waste of money. Compared to funding space
travels, putting funds into rebuilding homes for people, for
example, would probably be a better act of the government. For
people and the government, it is easy to see the good deeds money
can bring. We are able to envision how much money will be spent on
the project; because of this, it would also be easier for the
government to allocate budgets appropriately. In short, because
solving problems that happen on the Earth would be more practical
and also more urgent, funding space travel would actually be a
waste of the government’s money.
第一段:我带了政府只有有限预算 -
因此更应着重较紧急的社会议题 - 举一些影响国家人民较为重大的社会议
题(像战争、肥胖、癌症、本来想带低生育率但临时无法换字变成一个符合
文法又有强调出我坚定态度的句型,干脆牺牲)- 中间带入“太空探索是不
可预期的、不一定有投资报酬率的行为”(写到一半发现自己没有延伸紧
急,反倒一直在延伸 space exploration 的不可预测性)-赶快带回大家可
以直接联想到的紧急社会议题(像是地震后的盖房子)(但省略地震两个字
以避免句子太长失焦)- 带回对人民的利益- 对回对政府的预算考量(也就
是我一开始提到的主题句概念)- 最后,偷放 practical 这个字,以暗示
space exploration 真的不urgent, 不practical 又花钱。
Second, the government should put all its citizens into
consideration, yet if it decide to put money in space exploration,
the government would only benefit a few people in the country.
These people, mainly rich people, should not be of the government
’s concern because they live life happily without too much worry.
Imagine if the government put money in helping astronauts to
explore Venus. Few individuals will find this issue interesting.
To put it further, even fewer will actually gain benefits from the
exploration of Venus. Indeed, people might argue that with these
discoveries, the final results of these researches will eventually
benefit the society as a whole. However, since research results
have to be tested over and over again, that will not happen until
probably the next generation. To conclude, if the government put
funds into space exploration, it will only be giving benefit to
the researcher and the rich. This equals to putting the poor and
other ordinary ones in stake, which is why the government should
not put importance on funding space travel.
第二段:我主要想带出一个不一样的段落结构。因此,我用了清楚的例子—
explore Venus 来作为反例。写出explore Venus 之后,因为第一段在讲的
是“此探索不是国家较为紧急的议题”,第二段索性就讲“太空探索只能帮
到极少数人”。段落中,提到自己深有感觉的贫富差距(我有稍微包装过此
概念,让他变得符合句型以及题目的逻辑),其中,还再提点了一次“太空
科技的好处要很久之后才能实现”,再次呼应我的第一段。最后,整篇文章
结尾时,我再次重申自己对太空探索的想法,总结了第一、二段最重要的概
念,以强化读者对我立场的了解。
从这篇文章中,你看得出来,我对太空议题实际上也没有很深入的了解吗?
也许你看得出来哈哈,但是,写作中,议题的深入性其实并没有那么重要,
比较重要的是主考官要知道,你对政府该做的决策有一定的想法。
其实,这样的论述能力在考托福写作时,就已经绰绰有余了。:)
当然,因为我平时也有在接触雅思的题目,自己在练习写作我偶尔会将雅
思的一些写作方法和想点技巧也带进来。这也是为什么,
在阅读我的文章时,你会发现我确实有在练习“有意识地抽换单词、句型,
并练习我平时所学的新用语。
举例来说:
在我的范文里,你会发现:
the people= the society= individuals= ordinary people
funding= put investments in = put budget in= give financial aids
(似乎最后一个词这次没用到)
关于转换词汇,我在我的雅思讨论区其实也有分享一篇文章,大家有兴趣的
话可以去读读!(脸书加入LiaShow雅思讨论区:https://goo.gl/e9YGTG)
总之,如果你想练习这样的技能,平时就要多累积你的字库,并且要常常练
习将你学过的字用出来,你的英文造诣能力才会真的进步。最后,我总结一
下,对于托福中较困难的题目如何审题想点:
1. 先思考出你对这议题大致的看法,即便没想法,也可以至少想想自己是
赞成还是反对?你觉得这件事是有用,还是没用呢?
2. 在这事件里的主角是谁呢?你通常对他有什么既定印象呢?
3. 这件事情的背后,有哪些被影响的人以及决策者呢?这些人会因为这件
事得到什么帮助或是因为这件事而损失什么吗?
4. 有没有什么类似于这个议题的事,他们为什么类似?在你的论述里,他
可扮演什么功能?(比如:与太空探索的类似议题是癌症解药的研究。为什
么他们相类似呢?他们都是研究。那他们不同在哪呢?太空探索帮助比较少
人,癌症帮助更多人。因此,我站反对立场)。
5. 提醒大家,论述时,要记得将你的理由、元件等都放在对的结构上,你
的段落及申论才会显得合理、可采信。
在这一篇文章中,我把我的想法大致整理成以下的大纲(草稿)了,有兴趣
的同学,欢迎参考。
Funding space exploration
Not practical, should not be an immediate concern
Government (budget limited) - should focus on more important
problems (these problems influence more, and kill more people) -
war (Syria) poverty (African countries) —> poor countries, cancer
(medicine, cure), obesity (rich countries)
Space exploration — like imagining the future, too hard to
foresee <—> easy to envision? Building houses for people in need
Inequity (我的核心思想)- space exploration only benefit the
rich - does not help to make people equal - (different from 1st),
give specific example - Venus. (Time control problems 快速收尾)
在时间有限的情况下,心中的拟稿是很难被全写出来的。但至少,你可以永
保这种精神,用大纲的方式想你的作文,并且随时练习,在每个主题出现的
时候,都有一些单字、元件可以用,可以说。如此,你写作时,方向将会更
明确。希望我今天的分享有帮助到大家!
我是个热爱写作的人,如果你想多读我的文章,欢迎大家进入SK2 TOEFL的
部落格,参考我为写作此科目写的系列文:
http://sk2toefl.blogspot.tw/p/lia.html
或追踪我和我的partner Show 所一起建立的 LiaShow 雅思讨论区:
https://goo.gl/e9YGTG
2/23 (周五)我将举办一场小型的阅读长难句公开课,若你喜欢我的
教学风格或分享方法,欢迎你来参与我的现场教学,和我练练看另一个托福
中让大家头痛的科目喔!以下是报名资讯:
公开课资讯:
日期:2018/2/23(五晚)
时间:19:00- 20:30(18:45开始入场,19:00准时开始)
课程名称:破解阅读长难句!了解何谓句子态度、句子重心
地址:台北市信义路四段六号(捷运大安站共构大楼)16F-8正中央教室
* * *
报名公开课 ,请至https://goo.gl/KAzi9Q
填写简单资料,即完成报名手续,不需另行等待确认信~
教室座位有限,当天并会准备讲义,请同学确认能出席后再报名。
农历春节,为陪伴大家温书,若你有参与此次课程,我将每两天分享一段/
篇托福写作范例,email 给你让你参考,直到我们见面!欢迎大家参加实
体免费课程,一起在2018年变更好 :)
同时,如果你 2/23 无法前来,但真的很和我聊聊你的阅读和写作问题,
你也可以于2/24 参与我的顾问时间。
这个顾问时间,平时是给我正班的学生于课后讨论解惑的,在顾问时
间,我往往会帮助我的学生批改作文、练习口说,并提醒阅读和听力的自学
重点。因为是过年后的第一次顾问时间,我特别公开顾问时间,开放六位学
生可以进班试听我教授的上课精华。若你对于我平时上课如何和学生互动感
到好奇,欢迎你来听听看我的顾问时间!
报名顾问时间,请email: [email protected]
内文写上真实信名,各科状况并附一篇你的
托福作文。作文并非必缴,但内文请有礼貌,让我知道你是谁,需要得到什
么帮助。
最后,如果你真的很喜欢我的教学和分享,你可以在这里
(https://goo.gl/SLj6bG) 看到 2018年三月我在SK2所教授的付费课程。
我欢迎你成为我的学生,与我一起进步、一起学习。
~~SK2 TOEFL Lia
p.s. 欢迎加入我们的社团 SK2 TOEFL,追踪我们:https://goo.gl/IbTrCY
p.s.s. 大家想学会如何背好单字吗?或是你也需要准备GRE吗?欢迎你加
入我们的伙伴,Mason GRE脸书社团,获得更多相关资讯。Mason GRE脸书社
团:https://goo.gl/fxESZq
作者: yocka1001 (小花)   2018-02-17 21:29:00
推Lia :)
作者: earnest (大卫)   2018-02-17 23:48:00
推!
作者: kiwi0308 (kiwi)   2018-02-18 23:32:00
推Lia老师的想点详尽分享~

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