Re: 英文自传求批

楼主: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 17:38:58
小弟英文没有很好, 但是觉的应该与人为善 稍微的帮忙修改一下履历 欢迎给予指教
谢谢
I am a junior student XXXX, majoring in social marketing, in the Department
of Marketing and Tourism Management of Chiayi University. I want to apply for
a long-term internship program for your company, YYYYY, and my available
working days can start on 15th July 2019. For shortly introducing myself and
saving your reviewing time, Here is a list of my skills and work experiences
as following.
Master Skills:
1. MS Office PowerPoint
2. MS Office Word
3. MS Office Excel including VBA Scripting
Language Certificates:
GEPT, Taiwan 725 scores
Prize awarded:
2018 The champion of National Universities of Green Tourism Creative Travel
Planning Competition, TAIWAN. The design concept had received many positive
praise from syndic.
Venture experiences:
1. Student Dormitory Volunteer from 2017/07 - 2018/06; this position often
need to accommodate the quarrel between the dormmates, I solve many conflicts
and always found the best compromise among them.
2. Coordinator of the cherished community from 2018/9 - 2019/3; I lead
community member and propose many plans for execution such as XXX festival
event.
3. Teaching Assistant at Kid Castle from XXXX/XX - XXXX/XX; this is
accounting work; it needs to use the excel to make income and outcome sheets
to ensure all expenditures are correct. Through this position, I learned many
experiences from the fixed a lot of general chaos in bookkeeping to help the
billing system to complete.
4.Social Network Relationship Podcast from XXXX/XX - XXXX/XX; I am a
copywriter in charge of advertising proposal including the product
introduction, adjusting the photo of the product, and publishing it into the
social networks like Instagram, Facebook, and Youtube.
5. Foxconn 2005 high school student internship program. My primary work is to
execute the promotion plan of Asia Pacific Telecom to provide the customer
with lower telecom charges and help them to understand the benefit compared
to another Telecom company.
Finally, I kindly asked the honor reviewer to give me a chance to apply
for this long-term internship, and I will show my best performance
to reach your expectations.
※ 引述《sz06060817 (rose)》之铭言:
: My name is , I am studying in the third year of Chiayi University - Department
: of Marketing and Tourism Management. I am a marketer who is very interested i
: n social marketing.
: Working days: Summer vacations can be practiced every day. After semester begi
: ns, the internship days are Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. I can cooperate wit
: h a long-term internship.
: Study experience: I often need to make a ppt about the course, so I am familia
: r with using office and ppt.
: Activity experience:
: Chiayi University Xinmin student dormitory Volunteer (201707-201806) - I often
: n
: eed to solve all kinds of things in the accommodation, so I cultivate the abil
: ity to respond to the crisis.
: Coordinator of the cherished community (201809-201903): I am responsible for t
: he
: planning and execution of the event.
: Teaching Assistant of Kid Castle: Because the work requires excel to record th
: e income and expenditure, I learned to use it and the ability to solve unexpec
: ted situations.
: Acting as a public relations officer: experience in writing and writing a copy
: . I have an idea on planning a copy.
: I often write about urcosme's product experience. I will publish a product in
: ig and get 154 people by love. My ig is .
: Foxconn 94 students internship program.
: Help promote Asia Pacific Telecom and computers.
: Winning experience:
: The 2018 national colleges and universities green tourism creative travel plan
: ning competition is preferred. The design concept attracts consumers' journeys
: .
: License Expertise: The score is 725 points. I use tutoring and listening to En
: glish broadcasts to increase my English ability.
: I hope that your company will give me this opportunity, I will cherish this in
: ternship. I will not disappoint your company's expectations.
: 可以请大家帮我看看,并给予我建议吗?谢谢
作者: anper (镜中人)   2019-07-08 18:05:00
觉得稍微地
作者: vosser (二的四次方)   2019-07-08 18:06:00
英文不太有这种格式
作者: PANG920 (PANGSHAN)   2019-07-08 18:08:00
4.Social Network Relationship 的第三行publish+ing?give me a chance face-to-face 这句怎么感觉有点怪...
作者: xvited945 (sk0k0)   2019-07-08 18:40:00
原原po的英文是真的要完全重写的地步,要给建议很难啊,文法、语法都错太多了,不是不给建议,而是希望他拿出稍有程度的版本再来讨论我觉得你扯远了,我在美商工作,也从来不敢说自己英文多好,我们公司一堆ABC跟国外名校留学回来的,英文都比我好个好几倍,但这不是重点,重点是要跟板友请益,真的不要拿错误百出的版本,好歹用一下文法纠正网站或是找范例套,这应该不难举例好了,假设今天有一个人在网络上问数学题,结果他连四则运算都有问题,你会从加减乘除开始指导起,还是请他先去了解基本观念?就事论事看来对你是一件很难的事情,居然肉搜我XD
楼主: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 19:18:00
评论事情可以就事论事, 但是要提到小学四则运算 您扯远了给人一个机会 不会少一块肉 成不成材再说背
作者: xvited945 (sk0k0)   2019-07-08 19:19:00
你扯的我家世不觉得很夸张吗?我不管他是什么学历,他的那篇自传就是错误百出,需要完全重写,连修改的余地都没有,这是事实。
楼主: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 19:21:00
如果您的文 不能引用 麻烦下次发文前 先放上提示 我会遵守
作者: xvited945 (sk0k0)   2019-07-08 19:21:00
我帮过不少朋友修改英文自传和英文作文,这评论是根据经验说的,不关我家世的事。你就承认你为了辩论而肉搜我吧
楼主: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 19:22:00
先提小学四则运算的是您啊 我只是说我的认知 我又不知道您是谁
作者: xvited945 (sk0k0)   2019-07-08 19:23:00
他的英文自传在我眼里确实跟四则运算不熟差不多等级。文法错的太多了,语法也完全是中文逻辑
楼主: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 19:25:00
calm down 呵呵 下班啦 与人为善 与人为善
作者: xvited945 (sk0k0)   2019-07-08 19:26:00
嗯,共勉之
楼主: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 19:26:00
引用一下 名言 I'm trash! Toy4 还蛮好看的呵呵 离题的部份砍掉 多给人家一些机会 有时后会挖到宝
作者: LouisLSYA (阿庄XD)   2019-07-08 19:48:00
呵呵,一把年纪了还跟个小学生一样肉搜为了辩论
作者: jojia (jojia)   2019-07-08 20:06:00
觉“得” 你的中文....
作者: anper (镜中人)   2019-07-08 20:11:00
看来你英文不好 中文也不好 纠正你也没发现= =
作者: wzmildf (我不是蘿莉控)   2019-07-08 22:06:00
语言是拿来沟通的,但是写履历不是让你有懂就好的...再说了,原文那种英文,你要写履历随便google几篇范本都可以想办法从各篇抽取句型和篇章架构出来修改阿,要改真的无从改起,另外原文好像没说明英文自传的用途,也比较难针对用途来写,简单来说整篇自己去网络上找资源砍掉重练再来吧
作者: apley (佛渡有缘人)   2019-07-09 12:48:00
其实我觉得嘴炮到需要查询对方,就己经输了,因为潜意识觉得【需要更多东西】才能赢,为何? 因为单凭自己的文字和逻辑己经没有赢面.. 旁观者看来就是如此,心中怎么阿Q都无妨
作者: cool10528 (好芹)   2019-07-11 08:39:00
英文不好中文也不好吗? 觉得

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