[请益] 请各位老师们帮帮忙看一下文法对吗?

楼主: crystaleey (我是我)   2014-04-02 01:13:57
我是个安亲老师,学生说要故事比赛要写一个3分钟说的完的故事,我能完成的只有这样,不知道大家可以帮帮我看一下哪里有错吗?非常谢谢大家!
题目是how does it feel to wake up being a .......
One day, after I finished my homework,I went to bed.
When I woke up again, I became a fox. What? Fox? Isn't me, oh no, I can't believe it. I was very scared. I didn't know why I change a fox. I left my bedroom,and lost on the street.
When I walked across the road, I met a cat and asked him"Do you know who I am? "He answered me:" No, I have never seen you," I said:"I am Wendy, a beauty girl". The cat laughed at me and said:"you? If you were a girl, then I will be a handsome boy, hahaha! "
I felt sad and left him. At this time, I met a parrot, "could you tell me how I changed back myself?" The parrot told me:" maybe you could find a smart lion that living in a forest." I walked into the forest and tried to find the lion, "where were you, Mr. Lion? ",
What happened? A huge lion said. I said :"I wanted to know how could I changed back myself? " I asked you a question, if you can answer it correct, I will tell you or I will eat you. Who is the smartest animals? The lion asked. I was too nervous to talk anything. The lion was angry at me and prepared to eat me, this time, brring, it's seven o'clock, time to get up, I changed back myself, not a fox. It was a happy news. I hate I am a fox.
作者: shemie (shemie是希伯来文的太阳)   2014-04-02 01:31:00
其实网络上应该有一些短篇故事。大略看了一下(因为我眼睛快合起来了)时间为过去时不能有现在式,vice versa.其他都还好
作者: engwin (谁说英语不有趣)   2014-04-02 04:39:00
其实语法与用字方面有不少小瑕疵!如果是要参加重要比赛用的,建议还是从网络或童书上挑选适合的故事来改写,会比较事半功倍! :-)
楼主: crystaleey (我是我)   2014-04-02 08:12:00
谢谢上面各位的意见。我再继续找找看有没有类似的文章
作者: kee32 (终于毕业了)   2014-04-02 08:42:00
你辜狗关键字“桃园县英语比赛”,有不少文章可以参考对了,找 朗读比赛 的文章

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