进度4/5
这本书带给我的感受只能用复杂形容
表面淡漠但有时又锋利得可怕
甚至未必关于个人连结
就像俗语所谓骂人不带脏字
这是杀人不见血
谈到有个男人提到
自己的母亲曾莫名把家里原本养了很多年的狗丢在车站
他追踪到收容所要把狗狗接回来
收容所却说狗狗已经因为绝食而死
如果这还不够残忍
男人说他至今仍然无法明白为什么自己的母亲会这么做
作者写
"我没对他说　
显然因为她想伤害某个人"
最后这句太过真实
我一时半刻无法继续读下去
虽然类似的事从未发生在自己身上
但回想起那些生命里艰难的时光
我毫不怀疑
人的恶意可以让人没有任何迟疑
甚至享受/或只会懊恼怎么自己不曾想到而已。
一边精彩得让人难以忘怀又同时让人感到恐惧
连自己已经属于少数能欣赏这种特质的族群
都还这么不容易
brillant indeed, but do you like it?
It's just so hard (I may say impossible)
to pin down how you really feel about it
It's either you don't see it
(so there is nothing to appreciate)
or it scares you.
想起s曾经对我的形容
或许大概 也有些许类似吧
"sometimes you're lethal
and that's with me
imaging how it'd be for those you don't care about"
却也不只一次说过
how amazed and impressed he was by the same quality.
I don't really know if that's something/who I want to be
but it doesn't matter anyway
because you're what you are.
You can change/improve in some slight ways
but the structure / those what makes you who you are
it not going to be different.