刚才被告知需要去参加一个人头一千美的慈善晚宴
(当然不是我付钱)
虽然平静但犹豫的讲说知道了
可是心里整个panic attack
光想到衣着就开始恐慌
是要穿什么不会太张扬又像正式宾客
要低调但突出我很清楚怎么着装
但要不突出又够隆重就很不在我的守备范围
穿着太business也不好
还是得有点正式宴会感
欣羡豪门生活的人的话应该会很兴奋期待
但我只觉得...
好不自在好拘束好表面又没意义的社交活动
也得说s当时的评论很精准
正式场合的应酬场面
如果人跟环境不喜欢的话我很难忍受
...
米国人的电脑程度常令人吐血
问题在这个人不会解压缩
email附件不会开
就算换成google drive也是不会好吗
不会开包裹
跟用邮局还是黑猫寄什么关系啦
一直跳针讲要用黑猫 (倒地
...
and it really bothers me when people do not have
the basic concept of the workflow.
"did" you do XXX?
yes I can predict the upcoming task
but it has certain prelimanery that has to be done first.
so that If I "did" it,
it means either I had to push you to finish the task
or I had to do it on my own disregarding whatever you're currently doing.
on what earth that would be something ok to do
to takeover or disregard someone else's task???
why would you assume that's something that I should have done
before the finals has been passed to me???
->
what I can do?
->
need to write it down in the daily practice
(to figure out why it bothers me)
...
有亲身经历的人就实际很多
会把关键放在"如何做"
同时也解释了某些我有意识到但无法说得确实的点
建议的核心也和自己的尝试不谋而合
"面对承担现实"
发生的过去是别人的过错
痊愈好转是自己的责任和能力范围
期待任何人/权威的改变或拯救去改善自己本身的现况都不是解答
"实际改善自己生活的行为 再小都不算小"
I get it, the shameful feeling that no one wants to face
so that we choose not to put ourselves back into
the situstion that reminds us those feelings.
but bottom line, it goes to the most important question,
how much do you think you are worth?
if it's worthy enough
or you want to feel that you're worthy enough
then GIVE YOURSELF WHAT YOU DESERVE
从自己给自己开始
"练习/控制/掌握自己"
1. 认知自己当下状况
2. 慢下来 延迟立即反应 (类似醉后不开车)
3. 紧急书写
4. 专注于其他身体现实感知
(类似似mindfulness
稍微抽离trigger
专注感受环境感受自己身体感知)
-运动/爬楼梯/让心率增加
-去洗手洗澡感受肥皂温水冷水的身体感受