The Brief -
which this "Habits,"a song, reminds me...
to endeavor self to write something I shall brace up for.
Sometimes it do appear to me in flashes like an illusion,
but it’s also a metaphor if I confront to my subconscious.
An element of my own thesis now is on suppression of past trauma
and how it can manifest in the aberrance and unexplainable behavior.
That’s a place where unspeakable deeds dwell in the darkness.
However, now and then,
I can be consumed with chaos
and untethered from it which needs to be concealed.
Yes.
For me, for quite some time,
the idea of a sober existence was my fuel and my purpose.
I dare say that it dominated my consciousness most of time.
Then, I had acknowledged one day that,
for me; sobriety was a struggle, not a state of being.
A sense of closure would never come.
Accepting that dwell is as difficult as arriving at it.
So, is it denial?
I won’t pretend for a moment that there aren’t questions that need
answering in this bloody long life.
No matter what,
every piece of evidence that I’ve seen can be reviewed,
every assumption I had ever made can be reexamined.
We all should prepare ourselves for the possibility
that our uncertainty is eventual the only uncertainty that remains.
That's true life is stranger than anything the mind could invent...
but...it’s also good.
It has to be, and it will be, certainly it's going to be.