虽然前面也有版友试着重翻，
但我还是来翻译一下吧…
我个人是觉得这种短句的不太能用“翻”的
要理解它的转折跟爆点
然后找出中文相应的爆句
再用正常中文的语句讲出句子来
不然再怎样都很难好笑…
听起来也都会很拗口。
以下是我的翻译
1.
You're hard to ignore, but well worth the effort.
没人能对你视而不见
但大家都很努力的在尝试…
2.
Everybody was right about you.
嗯，看来大家骂你的话一点都不过份
3
You are not the dumbest person on the planet but you better hope that he
doesn't die.
你绝对不是世界上最笨的人！
但是你最好祈祷他可以活久一点…
4.
Nothing brightens my day more than your absence.
你一不在，我整个人整天都清爽了
5
i envy people who dont know you
那些不认识你的人… 我真的很羡慕他们
6
I kept having to go back to a hardware store because I kept buying the wrong
part for my project. The old man at the register who’d previously checked me
out said, your twin brother was in here earlier and he didn’t know what he
was doing either.
(这我就不翻了)
7
Do you have to whistle while you take a shit so you know which end to wipe
你擦屁股的时候，
是不是都要先吹个口哨确定一下哪边是屁股哪边是嘴？
8
If you ate your make up, maybe you'd be beautiful on the inside.
妳要不要吃一点化妆品？
看能不能至少有一些内在美…
9
you should carry around a potted plant to make up for the air you waste
你要不要考虑种个盆栽
弥补一下你浪费掉的氧气？
10
You are the human equivalent of a pop up ad
如果网页的弹跳广告可以被拟人化的话
大概就长得像你这样吧
11
God sure ruined a perfectly good asshole when he put teeth in your mouth.
可惜上帝给你长了牙齿
不然你就是个完美的塞康(台语)了
12
To an Italian: Your mother's pasta sauce is store bought and you know it!
给台南人：
你妈说煮的茶叶蛋其实根本是小7买的
你早就知道只是你根本吃不出来
13
If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.
如果你的脑袋瓜是炸药的话
那大概连你戴的帽子都炸不走吧
14
If ignorance is bliss you're a walking orgasm
如果说无知是一种幸福
你大概会马上高潮吧
15
You’re not even smart enough to realize how dumb you are.
你真的是蠢到都不知道自己蠢
16
You're like the end pieces of a loaf of bread, everyone touches you but
nobody wants you.
你就像吐司的第一片
大家都是把你拨开然后去拿第二片
17
You are the reason toothpaste needs instructions.
就是有你这种人
才会连牙膏都要附使用说明书
18
Your grades say “marry rich”, but your looks say “keep studying.”
你的成绩 看起来像是可以辍学嫁富二代
可是妳的脸看起来像是叫妳用功读书…
19
If this was a game and you died, you would drop common loot
如果人生是一场游戏
你死掉时大概也就掉普装吧
20
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
你的出生证明
用保险套公司的道歉声明就够了…
21
I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.
亲戚朋友问到你的时候，
我想你爸妈一定都直接转移话题吧
22
If you were any more inbred you’d be a sandwich
你再土一点
就可以直接做成吐司三明治了
(sorry这个真的太难XD)
23
Somewhere there is a tree that its sole purpose is to replace the oxygen you
waste, go find it and apologize
这世界上有那么一棵树
它存在的意义就是去补足被你浪费掉的氧气
你最好去找到它然后跟他说对不起
24
25
You just lost an excellent opportunity to keep your mouth shut.
你刚错失了一个闭嘴的好机会
26
You've only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place
如果你的脑细胞只有1号跟2号两个，他们大概在吵谁才是第三名..
27
You’re not pretty enough to be this stupid.
你的外貌还撑不起你的低能…
28
I only take criticism from people I would go to for advice.
(这原文就没什么爆点…就不翻了)