※ [本文转录自 Gossiping 看板 #1TF9ejWg ]
作者: A6 (短ID真好) 看板: Gossiping
标题: Re: [问卦] 认真问 华人界真的有人打得赢馆长吗？
时间: Sun Jul 28 02:38:35 2019
馆长可是号称东方罗礼士
可惜就是馆长生的太晚了
不然也没李小龙什么事了
罗礼士也只能号称西方馆长
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
当罗礼士出生后，开车把他妈妈从医院载回家
Chuck Norris attacks sharks when he smells them bleed.
当罗礼士闻到鲨鱼在流血，他会攻击牠
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. after three das of
excrutiating pain, the cobra died.
罗礼士曾被一条毒蛇咬过。在经过三天极度的痛苦后，那条蛇死了
There is only one thing Chuck Norris can't do, which is lose.
只有一件事是罗礼士做不到的，那就是输
In Texas, Chuck Norris gave my car a push with his foot... I was arrested for
speeding on the Autobahn in Germany.
在德州，罗礼士用他的脚推了我的车一把…我在德国的高速公路上被逮捕，因为超速
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a
warning.
曾有交通警察拦下罗礼士，那警察很幸运地只被口头警告后放走了
Newborn babies cry because they know they just have entered the world of Chuk
Norris.
新生儿会哭泣是因为他们知道他们来到了罗礼士的世界
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one
fools Chuck Norris.
罗礼士的日历从3/31之后就是4/2，没有人可以愚弄罗礼士
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.
罗礼士从不打错电话；只有对方接错电话
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
尤里盖勒(有名的特异功能者)用精神力扭曲汤匙，罗礼士用汤匙扭曲精神力
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
有些魔术师能在水上行走，罗礼士能在陆地中游泳
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is
just afriad to move.
罗礼士的房间有一件棕熊地毯，那头熊还没死，牠只是不敢动
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the
dark off.
当罗礼士走进房间，他不开灯，他关掉黑暗
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
罗礼士在汉堡王点了一个大麦克，而且他拿到了
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
罗礼士让洋葱哭泣
Chuck Norris was denied auditioning for "Mission Impossible", for obvious
reasons.
罗礼士被《不可能的任务》拒绝试镜，原因很明显
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was
replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save
the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
罗礼士原本被安排出演24小时反恐任务的主要角色，但被制作人换角了，因为他在12分钟
37秒就杀光了所有的恐怖份子
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon
reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary,
so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
詹姆斯卡麦隆找罗礼士饰演魔鬼终结者，但他发现这样会变成纪录片，所以改找阿诺
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...... As The Force.
罗礼士在六部《星际大战》中都有出演，他演“原力”
Chuck Norris has a stunt double. For crying scenes.
罗礼士会使用替身，在要哭的场景
When the president pushes the big red button Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
当总统按下红色的大按钮时，罗礼士的手机会响起
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to
start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
罗礼士曾经和超人对打，并打赌输的人要把内裤穿在裤子外面
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
当蝙蝠侠遭遇困难时，他会打开罗礼士探照灯
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way. We now know
this truck as Optimus Prime.
曾经有一次，罗礼士把一辆卡车从他的路上移开。那辆卡车就是我们现在知道的柯博文
Chuck Norris has Xbox Live on his PS3.
罗礼士有一个Xbox帐号，在PS3上
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal
injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
在美国有四项合法的死刑：毒物注射、毒气室、电椅，以及罗礼士
Contrary to popular beleif, Rome WAS built in a day, by Chuck Norris.
跟一般认知相反，罗马是一天造成的，透过罗礼士
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck
Norris.
贝尔发明电话时，发现他有三通罗礼士的未接来电
Wizards quiver hearing Voldemort's name, but they cry in mass hysteria
hearing Chuck Norris' name.
听见佛地魔的名字时巫师们会颤抖，听见罗礼士的名字时他们会歇斯底里地大哭
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia,
fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
害怕蜘蛛叫做“蜘蛛恐惧症”；害怕狭窄空间叫做“幽闭恐惧症”；害怕罗礼士叫做“逻
辑”
There's no point in crying over spilled milk unless it's Chuck Norris'
milk... then you're gonna die.
不要为撒出去的牛奶哭泣，除非那是罗礼士的牛奶…因为你死定了
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
罗礼士可以被零整除
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
圆周率的最后一位数就是罗礼士，他终结任何事物
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also
Chuck Norris’ initials. This is not a coincidence.
剧毒氰化物的化学式写作CN-，和查克．罗礼士的缩写相同，这并不是巧合
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor
destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
热力学第一定律描述：能量无法被创造，亦无法被毁灭…除非它遇到查克罗礼士
The continents don't drift. They back away slowly from Chuck Norris.
大陆不会漂移，它们只是慢慢地避开罗礼士
Chuck Norris once kicked the Earth, it hasn't stopped spinning.
罗礼士曾踢了地球一下，它到现在还在转
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
罗礼士早已经登陆过火星了；这也是为什么那里没有生命迹象
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that
Chuck Norris is on.
外星人确实存在。只是他们知道最好不要拜访有罗礼士的星球
There are no mysteries in the universe. Only things that Chuck Norris hasn't
shared with the rest of us.
宇宙中已经没有任何奥秘了。只是罗礼士还没分享给我们而已
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
死神曾经有过一次“濒罗礼士经验”
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
上帝说：“要有光。”，罗礼士说：“说‘请’。”