一‧
男孩:为什么今天的晚餐又冷又难吃?
爸爸:因为你妈在里面放了她的心和灵魂。
原文:
Boy: Why is the food so cold and bland?
Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.
二‧
自杀炸弹客最害怕什么事?
孤独而死
原文:
What is a suicide bombers worse fear?
Dying alone...
三‧
需要几位示威者才能换一个灯泡?
好问题,示威者改变不了任何事实。
原文:
How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb?
Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.
四‧
为什么盲人歌手史蒂夫永远见不到朋友了?
因为他结婚了。
原文:
Why couldn't Stevie Wonder see his friends?
Because he's married.
五‧
一个渔夫抓到一条鲨鱼,当他准备把鲨鱼拉上船时,
鲨鱼说话了:“别杀我!我是只会魔法的鲨鱼,我可以实现你一个愿望。”
“好吧。”渔夫想了想说:“我要我的小弟弟能碰到地板!”
于是鲨鱼把渔夫的两条腿给吃了。
原文:
A fisherman catches a shark. As soon as he pulls him up the shark starts
yelling, "Wait wait wait... I'm a magic shark, I can grant you wishes if you
let me go."
"Alright," says the man, "I want my penis to reach the floor".
So the shark ate his legs.
六‧
为什么美国要把"colour"的"u"拿掉?
因为 fuck u!
原文:
Why did America remove the "u" from "colour"?
Because fuck u that's why.
七‧
为什么自杀是非法的?
因为你破坏了政府的财产。
原文:
Why is suicide illegal?
Destruction of government property.
八‧
天主教:会发生这些鸟事是因为你是个王八蛋
他妈的宗教
原文:
Religious Shit
Catholicism: Shit happens because you're bad.
笑了下地狱
哈利波特和犹太人之间有何不同?哈利波特成功的逃出了密室。