承之前文章,常常看到同学写作发展方向重点放错,今天再来看一个实例!
题目是4/9实体考试题目:
Many changes in the primary school can provide the students with better
education and social development. Which of the changes is more important for
the teachers?
1. Encouraging students to ask in the class more frequently
2. Having students work together in pairs or small groups more frequently
3. Meeting each student’s parents more often
同学A赞成,第一个论点是:
First of all, students are often busy and working in small groups can save
much time. Take me for example, when I studied in Taiwan university, I had
lots of tests after the neurological class. Thus, I always found my friend,
Tom, to set a study group for the exam. We could discuss with each other the
questions about the neurological problem in the test. Because of the study
group, we used less time to prepare for the test and still got A+ in the
test. On the contrary, if we asked in the class more frequently, the teacher
would spend extra time answering the questions and the class would delay
being finished. Therefore, having students work together has more benefits.
同学常常会说“不是要写的具体吗?”所以把学校名字、课程名称都写出来,但以这个论
点来说,应该要具体发展的方向是“为何小组讨论可以省时”,所以其实读什么学校,课
程名称叫什么,相对不重要,这里建议只要写When I was in college, there’s one
class that had a lot of tests. (我念大学的时候有修过一堂课有很多考试)
接下来还有一个地方发展的不够的是Because of the study group, we used less time
to prepare for the test and still got A+ in the test. 因为有了这个读书会,我们
只要花一点点时间准备这些考试而且还能拿到A+
应该能感觉到,如果不多加解释,读者看的感觉可能会是:“哇组了读书会就很神奇的就
能考高分了,过程中到底发生什么事不太清楚,反正组了读书会就是能花比较少时间,然
后拿高分拉~”
显然这边解释得不太够,应该针对这部分多着墨一点,例如:
因为有了这个读书会,我们把考试可能会考的题目分一半准备,像有一次可能考的题目有
50题,我们各自准备25题并且讲解给对方听,这样我们就只要花一半的时间,仍然可以在
考前做完题目,后来真的考到不错的成绩。
Because of the study group, we could divided the test materials into two
parts. One time there were 50 possible questions, and each of us did research
on 25 questions and explained the results to each other. By doing so, we only
needed to spend half of the time but we could still get well prepared before
the test. In the end, we got As for those tests.
总结一下,以上面的例子来看,第一个问题是同学往往认为把人事时地物的名字写出来就
叫做具体了,很多情况下是,但还是要看论点的重点在哪里,然后专注在那个方向多着墨
一点。
下次继续分享写作发展方向!
Cheers,
J2