帮翻Shaq的段落。
In 2008, you couldn’t get to the paint against our Suns team. Well, maybe
you could, but you weren’t coming back. I’d be around the hoop when
opposing guards would cut toward Shaq. He’d smack the ball out of their
hands and across the court, and then yell at the dudes. Shaq was a friendly
giant one moment and the most dominant center of all time the next. And his
opponents never knew which one they would be facing. It was so fun to watch.
Shaq would yell:
在2008年，你在跟太阳比赛时没办法进入油漆区。呃，也许你可以，但是你会出不来。
当对手的后卫往Shaq切时我会在篮框附近。他会把球从他们手上搧到球场另一端，然后对
着他们大喊。上一秒Shaq是个友善的巨人，下一秒就变成了史上最具统治力的中锋。他的
对手永远都不知道他们会面对哪一个他。这看起来实在太有趣了。
侠客会大喊：
“If you come over here again … man. I swear to God, I’ll f*** you up. I
will. I’ll f***ing do it.”
“如果你在过来一遍...家伙。我向天发誓，我会搞翻你。我真的会。我真的他X的会做到
。”
Shaq was a friendly giant one moment and the most dominant center of all
time the next moment.
上一秒Shaq是个友善的巨人，下一秒就变成了史上最具统治力的中锋。
Next possession, the guard would cut for the paint, look at Shaq, and kick
the ball right out.
下个回合，对手后卫会切往禁区，看着侠客，然后把球分出去。
Shaq was a scary dude, for sure. But once you see somebody naked, you just
see a different side of them. You ready for this story? You’re not ready.
Shaq是个吓人的家伙，肯定的。但是当你看到某个人一丝不挂，你会看到他们不一样的一
面。你准备好听这个故事了吗？你还没准备好。
It’s a game day, early in the afternoon. Shaq picks me up because we’re
both heading to the trainer’s room to get some work done before tip-off. We
get to the locker room, take our clothes off and go over to the rehab room.
But the trainer isn’t there. We wait 15 minutes. We’re all there in towels,
just sitting around waiting. Shaq is kind of upset at this point. So he takes
off his towel (not sure why) and heads down to our trainer’s office. He
opens the door and is like, “Are you coming? Or am I going to have to pick
you up and take you?”
比赛日，下午的早些时候。Shaq因为我们都准备在比赛前做些训练来接我。我们到了更衣
间，脱了衣服然后往复健室去。但是防护员并不在那里。我们等了15分钟依旧围着毛巾在
那边坐着等待。Shaq这个时候有点不高兴了。他脱掉了他的毛巾（不懂为什么），然后往
我们防护员的办公室去。他打开了门，当时的情况就是“你是要不要来？还是需要我来接
你过去？”
At first, the trainer can’t tell if Shaq is joking or not. Shaq takes a few
steps closer and our trainer knows he’s not. So the trainer takes off —
sprinting down the hall.
一开始，那个防护员分不清Shaq是不是在开玩笑。Shaq往前走了几步，防护员就知道他不
是在开玩笑。然后防护员拔腿就跑，往大厅冲刺。
Shaq follows him, of course. Still butt-ass naked. Now Shaq is in a dead
sprint down the hallway, running past arena workers and other staff,
screaming at the top of his lungs. This is a normal business day. It’s a
weekday.
Shaq当然也跟着他。仍然光着屁股。Shaq在走廊上跑着，边死命大叫边经过场地工作人员
和其他员工。这是个正常的工作日。是个平日。
Everyone is in official Suns gear or in suits. Shaq is in his birthday suit.
每个人都穿着太阳的衣服或正装。Shaq什么都没有穿。
Just picture that, if you dare.
想像一下，如果你敢的话。
Future Hall of Famer, one of the greatest big men to ever play the game of
basketball. And here he was, naked, chasing our tiny little trainer through
the arena halls. I think the chase lasted 15 minutes. Which is a long time
for the Big Nude Cactus to be loose in the arena.
未来的名人堂成员，篮球史上最伟大的大个子之一。他就在这边，光着身子，追着我们小小
的防护员跑过整个场馆。我想他们的追逐大概有15分钟。一段够让大裸仙人掌在场馆里放
松的时间。
That’s my friend, that’s Shaq.
这就是我的朋友，这就是Shaq。
另外补充一下我看到这个故事时脑袋想的是以前亚当山德勒讲过的笑话
https://youtu.be/YZoKUlN9urg
以前有中译版现在被撤了，不过这个真的很好笑XD