来源：https://goo.gl/94VC7d
I take everything for granted. That's what my parents told me growing up.
My two best friends, Kelby and Travis, used to say the same thing.
Too focused on the future to appreciate the present.
I want more prestige, I want a trophy, I want to improve my skills.
我太把一切视为理所当然，这是我父母在我长大过程中告诉我的。
我的两个好朋友Kelby和Travis也总是说一样的话，太专注于未来是无法感恩现在。
我想要更多的名声，我想要奖杯，我想要让我的技术进步。
After we lost, we all came back to our practice room and talked about how we
felt. Taking turns, they revealed their sadness and regret they couldn't
perform better. When it was my turn, I wanted to say so many things, but it
didn't come out. I wanted to tell them how ashamed I was, how much I hate
myself and relive those moments over and over again where I made the wrong
play. I wanted to ask for their forgiveness. But how could I? How can I ask for
forgiveness if I don't even know if they blame me to begin with?
输了以后，我们回到练习室然后表达自己的感受。经过一轮后，他们对自己无法表现更好
感到伤心与悔恨。当轮到我的时候，我有很多想讲的东西，但并没能讲出来。我想要告诉
他们我有多羞愧我自己，我有多恨我自己，我的失误表现一次又一次的在我脑海重播。
我想向他们请求原谅，但我何德何能？在他们没责备我前，我如何向他们请求原谅？
I know I didn't play well, that I didn't play like myself, that we were
outclassed against RNG's bot lane. My teammates know it too, and yet I think
they still blame themselves for our losses. It's through our time practicing
together that we've gotten to know eachother so well. They all focus on the
burden of their own mistakes, but I wish they would just blame me and be done
with it. It's both beautiful and terrible when you learn to win as a team and
lose as a team.
我知道我打得并不好，我没有表现得该像我自己，因此我们对上RNG下路线时陷入劣势。
我的队友也知道这点，但他们依然为我们的失败自责。我们总是在一起练习所以我们很了
解彼此。他们把失败的原因全揽到自己的失误上，但我希望他们能狠狠地责备我然后一切
就这样结束。
当你学到如何赢得像个团队，同时也输得像个团队时，这是很美丽也很糟糕的事情。
Coming back to the hotel, I found Vincent crying in our room. I've never seen
do that before, he's usually stoic and reserved. When I invited him to eat
dinner, it was surprising to hear him accept. Spending time with my closest
friends and joking around over delicious Chinese food, it reminded me of what
we gave up for another year just to return home with nothing. I felt a little
guilty to be there, like I didn't have a right to be happy when I failed so
many people.
回到旅馆后，我发现Vincent在我们的房间里哭泣。我从没看过他哭，他总是这么坚强与隐
忍。我很惊讶当我邀请他一起吃晚餐时他接受了。我花了一些时间和我的亲密朋友在美味
的中国食物陪伴下互开玩笑，这提醒了我，我们放弃了些什么又为了一年带着什么都没有
回到家。
我对此感到有点罪恶感，就像我没有权利这么开心，当我在让这么多人失望后。
I've never been a weak link of any roster I've been on until this moment.
Everyone has felt embarrassment and shame, but have you felt it in this
magnitude? I let down my teammates, friends, and millions of fans. It's a
crippling feeling of unworthiness that has kept me off social media.
一直以来我从未在任何阵容里成为一条弱势线，直到这个时刻。
任何人都曾感到尴尬与羞愧，但你有曾经感受过如此巨大的愧疚感吗？我觉得我让我的队
友、朋友、和数十万的粉丝失望。
这种我不配的沈重感受，一直让我远离社群媒体。
An entire year of sweat and toil, of heated arguments and conflict, of
disappointment and failure. I'll never forget that it ended like this, but
there's also the other side. The dumb jokes we made, the friendship and
brotherhood we built, the learning and growing we went through, the triumph of
winning NALCS and trying our best at Worlds. I won't take it for granted.
又一年充满汗水与辛苦，日渐热烈的批评与冲突，失望与失败。我绝对不会忘记今年是怎
么结束的，但同时另外一面我也不会忘记。那些我们开的愚蠢玩笑，那些我们建立起来的
友情与兄弟情，我们在过程中的学习与成长，赢得NALCS的狂喜和在世界大赛里努力展现
我们最好的表现。
我不会将这些都视为理所当然。
P.S.难得看到继阿混离队访谈后令人感动的选手心路文，就把它翻译出来。
P.S.S.感谢oak2002大 crystal094大 Germany169大 抓虫 :)