※ 引述《samok (记者只会抄公社低卡记录7)》之铭言：
: 学姊写的作文 待会帮他改一下
: Dear John
: How's everything going on? I want to tell you a great news that I was
How's everything going?/ What's going on?
: admitted to a language school in Los Angeles. I will study there next month.
admitted在这边比较像是申请还没过关的感觉，如果两句写在一起会比较好
EX:I'm going to study in a language school in Los Angeles in next month.
: May you help me rent a house in advance? I promise to treat you to a fantastic
关系比较熟用Could 就可以了 还有记得要加to
(may/could 原型 但help后面+to V是帮...的意思)
Could you help me to rent a house there in advance?
(要不要预先我这边感觉不出来 我是不会写in advance啦 但没什么问题我就先留着)
: meal as a fairing. I hope you can seek a house corresponding to followings:
我觉得不用to
这句怪怪的 我会写 In return, I promise I will treat you a big meal.
然后我会摆最后
I hope you can find a house by those followings.
英文的冒号(colon)千万别乱用 乖乖点句点就好
: First, the size of house doesn't matter, but the location is close to UCLA.
has to be
: Second, the area nearby is good public transport. Third, it is located in a
Second, the area has good public transport network.
: quieter area. Fourth, the room is clean and yet it concludes bed, desk,
你被骗了 用quiet就可以了
conclude=结论 include=包括 家具这个名词没写到 furniture(注意不可数)
我会写the room is tidy and it includes some furniture such as bed, desk,
and air-conditioner.
: air-conditioner. Finally, it might be better for the neighbor being student
我会写If the neighbors were all students instead of Chinese would be better
for me.
: instead of chinese. Besides, the rent must be reasonable. Please email
Chinese大写 information加个the
Finally 最好摆最后，所以besides可以跟finally对调顺序
: information about the house to me as soon as possible. Thank you very much.
In return, I promise I will treat you a big meal.Thank you very much.
: Jenny
写信的话最好加一句Sincerely,
PS: 我差点改linguistic school
https://www.hopenglish.com/why-is-there-a-noun-before-a-noun