※ 引述《judy404 (如如如)》之铭言：
: 大家好, 以下是我的自传,麻烦各位纠正我不当之处, 万分感谢!!
: My name is XXX. I graduated from XX University and my major
: is in Special Education.
通常第一段会写明应征的工作项目
I am writing to apply for the XXX position at XXX company.
学历部分如果这样写会比较清楚
I received my bachelor (or master) degree in Special Education
from XXX university.
: Because of the experiences of teaching those children who have disabilities,
: I learned the patient and teamwork ability.
这里我看不太懂 learned the patient 是指了解病人吗?
一般不会把 Because of, because, when 这类子句或副词放在句子的开头
除非是要特别强调
My experience teaching children with disabilities helps me understand
how to work with patients.
: I was hired by a famous chain store for selling consumer electronics
: during my college time. With my excellent sales and negotiation skill,
: I became the Top Sales after two months and obtain top awards several times.
: Due to my sales performance, I was appointed as a representative in
: Information Exhibition, and got best salesman number one every time.
我建议写出公司名
Before graduating from college, I worked as a sales representative for
XXX Company, a top retail chain selling consumer electronics. My selling and
negotiation skills made me a good salesman. I received my first Top Sales
award in the first two months and received the award several times during my
employment. I was appointed to represent the company at the Information
Exhibition several times because of my performance. I made the most sales
among all representatives each time when I worked at the exhibition.
: I believe “There are no products couldn’t be sold.”
"There are no products that can't be sold"
: Always thinking how to expand and promote the achievements and focusing
: on our every customer. I will be a great candidate for this position
: with my enthusiasm and outstanding learning capacity.
I always think of ways to promote product benefits and value that we can
bring to our customers. I listen to every customer's needs and provide the
best recommendations accordingly.
I feel confident my enthusiasm and learning ability will allow me to make
a significant contribution to XXX company.
: Thank you for your listening.
Thank you for your time. I look forward to talking with you.
我也不是专业的写手或编译 只是凭自己的经验给点建议
有很多地方可能只是每个人写作风格不同 而不是对错问题
写商业书信的时候 我会尽量避免过多的形容词
另外 skills 通常是复数 即使你觉得是一种技能而不是多种 像是 selling skills
experience 通常是单数 即使你觉得是很多的经验 像是 teaching experience