Gay Cardinals Minor League player quit baseball when teammates said gays
should be killed
By Cyd Zeigler
红雀队小联盟球员因为队友发表同性恋理应杀害的言论，离开棒坛
After visiting Outsports a few times, I wanted to share my story with you.
在拜访Outsports数次后, 我想告诉你，我的故事
My name's Tyler Dunnington, and I was a 28th-round pick by the St Louis
Cardinals in the 2014 MLB Draft. I was one of the not-so-many players to
be given a chance to pursue my dream of being a Major League Baseball player.
我的名字是Tyler Dunnington，我在2014年选秀第28轮，被圣路易红雀选上。很幸运的，
我是少数能有机会一圆大联盟梦想的球员。
I was also one of the unfortunate closeted gay athletes who experienced years
of homophobia in the sport I loved. I was able to take most of it with a grain
of salt but towards the end of my career I could tell it was affecting my
relationships with people, my performance, and my overall happiness.
不幸的是，在我所热爱的棒球圈，我却也是那深受恐同阴影笼罩的未出柜球员。
我曾怀疑我是否有能力度过这些难关，但直到职业生涯尾端，它着实影响我的人际关系，
我在球场上的表现，以及我整体的幸福。
I experienced both coaches and players make remarks on killing gay people
during my time in baseball, and each comment felt like a knife to my heart.
I was miserable in a sport that used to give me life, and ultimately I decided
I needed to hang up my cleats for my own sanity.
在我打球的那段日子里，我听见来自教练和选手间关于杀害同性恋的耳语，那一次又一次
的言论犹如一道又一道利刃嵌入我心。我何其热爱这项运动，但我处境却又如此悲戚。
最后，为明智计，我决定高挂球鞋。
After a little over a year of being gone from the game I've come to realize
I thought I was choosing happiness over being miserable. That is not
necessarily the case. My passion still lies in baseball, and removing myself
from the game didn't change that. Most of the greatest memories I have are
with this sport. After gaining acceptance from my friends and family I realized
I didn't have to quit baseball to find happiness.
在离开球场一年后不久，我清楚体认到彼时我选择了幸福而非悲戚。然而这却不是必要
之举。我对棒球的热情依旧，即便远离球赛，也不能更动这个事实。
打棒球的时光占据了我人生中大半的美好记忆。在朋友和家人接受我出柜的事实后，
我了解到为了找到幸福，我并不需要牺牲棒球。
I not only wanted to share my story but also apologize for not using the stage
I had to help change the game. Quitting isn't the way to handle adversity, and
I admire the other athletes acting as trailblazers.
我不仅想分享我的故事，也为了过去我无法利用棒球这个舞台改变什么而道歉。
退让并不是处理逆境的方法，我钦佩其他在同志议题上勇敢扮演拓荒者的运动员。
Dunnington's college career spanned three institutions. The pitcher spent
two years in the community college ranks at Skagit Valley College outside of
Seattle andCollege of Southern Idaho. Then his career took off at Division II
Colorado Mesa College. Keeping his sexual orientation from his teams, he heard
homophobic language in the locker room, the members of the teams having no idea
there was a gay man in their midst. While his overall experiences with each
team were positive, the anti-gay comments didn't help.
Dunnington在三所学校渡过了他的大学生活。这位投手在史盖吉谷社区大学和南爱达荷州
立学院走过两年寒暑，之后他的投手人生在NCAA二级Colorado Mesa College起飞。他对
球队隐瞒性向，在休息间里，他耳闻恐同言论，然而队友们并不知道他们之中有位同性恋
球员。他在每支球队的相处经验还算正面，反同言论并不猖狂。
It was comments from a member of one of the coaching staffs - yes, a coach -
that have lingered with him the longest. Somehow chatter one day brewed about
gay people, and the coach made a bragging reference to the brutal murder of
Matthew Shepard.
一则反同言论从教练团的其中一位成员流出。是的，一位教练，一位陪伴他最久的教练。
某天，不知何故，聊天的话题转到同志议题，那位教练针对残无人道的Matthew Shepard
谋杀案大放厥词。
"We kill gay people in Wyoming," the college coach said.
在怀俄明州，我们都会杀害同性恋。那位教练如是说。
The comment killed Dunnington's spirit
那则言论抹杀了Dunnington的心智。
In 2014 Dunnington left Colorado Mesa and headed to the Gulf Coast League
Cardinals, a Florida-based affiliate of the St. Louis team that had drafted
him. Between that team and the State College Spikes, Dunnington finished the
season with a 4-2 record and two saves with an ERA of 3.09.
在2014年，Dunnington离开了Colorado Mesa前往湾岸红雀队，圣路易红雀在佛州的
小联盟球队。那年，他待在湾岸红雀和州立学院鹿角队，以4胜2败2救援，3.09的防御率
结束了赛季。
"He had a good season, statistically, though he was a couple years older than
the average player in his league," said Grant Brisbee, senior baseball writer
at SBNation.
“尽管他比同联盟的球员年纪稍长，惟从数据上来看，他有个不错的赛季“Grant Brisbee
, SBNation的资深写手如是说。
Also along the way came an unfortunate locker-room conversation. One teammate
with the Cardinals mentioned that he has a gay brother. While there was some
supportive talk, two teammates in particular questioned their straight teammate
on how he could possibly be friends with a gay person, even his brother.
They even mentioned ways to kill gay people.
不幸的休息间谈话却也如影随形。在红雀队的一位队员曾经提到他有位同性恋兄弟。
尽管那时有支持声浪，两位队友仍质问那位直男队友，他怎么有办法和同志做朋友，
更别提要当兄弟了。他们甚至提到如何杀害同志的手段。
When it came time a year ago to head to Spring Training, Dunnington bowed out.
He was done with baseball. His family was bewildered. Baseball had been part
of Dunninton's identity for most of his life. Not knowing his sexual
orientation or the language he had heard in college and pro locker rooms,
they were dumbfounded.
时空拉到去年春训，Dunnigton终究低头了。他的棒球人生结束了，家人完全不能明白
他的决定。在泰半人生中，棒球曾是他的身分认同。因为不知道他的性向和他在大学
以及职业球队休息室里所听到的反同话语，对于他的举措，家人哑然无语。
As Dunnington said in his email to me, he felt he had to choose between
being an out gay man or playing baseball. He was increasingly miserable
in the latter, so he chose the former and retired from baseball after just
one Minor League season.
Dunningtony在电子邮件中告诉我，他觉得他有必要在出柜或继续打棒球两者间作出选择。
他在信中是如此悲戚，以至于他选择前者，在一年小联盟生涯后，从球界淡出。
Homophobic language had driven an MLB prospect from the sport he loved
and the sport at which he excelled. The makings of a Shakespearean tragedy.
恐同言论逼使一位新秀必须从他擅长的运动中退场。这难道不是一场莎士比亚式的悲剧吗？
Coming out to people in his life over the last 12 months, reading the stories
of other out athletes, and watching the work of Billy Bean in Major League
Baseball, Dunnington now realizes he didn't have to leave baseball to be
openly gay. Even with some harsh language from coaches and teammates, he sees
a community of people like him who provide support. He also sees the shifting
tide in sports and the disconnect between the anti-gay language "jocks"
sometimes use and their deeper adoration for their teammates.
在过去的12个月里，他向在他生命中出现的许多人出柜；阅读了其他出柜运动员的故事；
观看了Billy Bean在MLB官网发表的作品，Dunnington现在知道他不需要为了出柜
离开棒坛。
即使尖刻的话语从教练和队友口中出现，他总会遇到一群喜爱他并给予支持的伙伴。
他看见运动圈改变的浪潮，以及切断那时而出现的反同言语连结的，那来自队友心中
最真切的赞美。
With his playing days behind him, Dunnington is now looking to get back into
baseball in a team front office. He attended the MLB Diversity Business
Summit in Phoenix last week, thanks in part to some last-minute wrangling
by Bean and the Sports Equality Foundation. To return to baseball as an out
gay man would, like Bean felt two years ago when he returned to the sport
he loves, be the ultimate validation of his true self.
昔日打球的时光已远，Dunnington现在决定以球队FO的身分重返棒球圈。
他参加了上周在凤凰城举行的大联盟多元业务高峰会，而这得归功于Billy Bean和
运动平权基金会在最后一分钟的折冲。如同Billy Bean在两年前做的事─ 以一个出柜
同性恋的身分，回到他所热爱的运动。而这，就是Dunnington对真实的自我，最终极
的认同。
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