※ 引述《sdc4589 (sdc4589)》之铭言：
: With the 837th overall pick in the 28th round, The San Diego Padres select SS Johnny Manziel from Texas A&M University!!!!!
: Padres是太无聊吗 = =
: 话说Johnny Manziel高中棒球还打的不错欸 #JohnnyBaseball
这件事还有后续
What follows is an exclusive conversation between Josh Byrnes, Mike Dee and Johnny Manziel. Don’t ask how I got it. This is all 100% true. Promise.
以下这则对话仅止于Josh Byrnes, Mike Dee 以及 Johnny Manziel
不要问我是怎么得到的。这百分之百都是事实，我保证。
*Mike Dee enters Josh Byrnes’ office*
Mike Dee走进Josh Byrnes的办公室
(Mike Dee 教士队CEO, Josh Byrnes 教士队GM)
Mike Dee: “Jesus Christ you’re playing Playstation again? Turn that off I want to talk to you about something.”
Mike Dee: 我的老天啊，你又在打PS? 把那东西关掉，我要和你商量一些事情。
Josh Byrnes: “Geez, dad, let me just finish this game of Madden.”
Josh Byrnes:拜托，至少先让我打完这场比赛吧！
(Madden EA SPORT推出的美式足球游戏)
*Byrnes loses 49-21*
Byrnes最后以49-21不幸败北
Byrnes: “What do you want.”
Byrnes:你有何贵干？
Dee: “Ok, so I was up late last night and came up with this crazy idea. It’s a little out of the box, but I think you’re gonna dig it.”
Dee:我昨晚开夜车，一个疯狂的想法突然蹦出我的小脑袋。这也许超出计画之外，但我认为你应该去做。
Byrnes: “If this is about the uniforms I told you I don’t fucking care.”
Byrnes:如果是跟球衣有关，我跟你说过了，我他妈的一点也不在意
Dee: “Dude I know. It’s not that. Chill.”
Dee:老兄，我知道啊，不是那件事，镇定镇定。
Byrnes: “Ok what’s your idea.”
Byrnes:好啊!有屁快放。
Dee: “Ok, remember when we had Johnny Manziel throw out the first pitch last year?”
Dee: ok,你记得去年我们邀请Johnny Manziel开球吧
Byrnes: “Not sure where you’re going with this but I don’t have anything better to do.”
Byrnes:我不知道你现在提起这个是要冲三小，我无可奉告。
Dee: “Imagine what the reaction would be if we drafted him! It’d be great publicity and we already have a picture of him in a Padres hat.”
Dee:想像一下如果我们选了他引起多大的回响！我们可以得到很大的曝光率，而且我们已经有了一张他戴着教士球帽的照片
Byrnes: “Are you fucking high? No, shut up I’m not drafting him. Leave me alone.”
Byrnes:你他x的高潮了吗？闭上你的嘴，我不会选他，让我一个人静一静。
Dee: “Listen listen you’re not thinking this through. We’re gonna get mad retweets and likes. Everyone’s gonna be talking about it. We’ll definitely make Espn and probably Deadspin. There’s no downside.”
Dee:给我仔细听好了，你想的没我周到。选了他，我们会得到疯狂的回贴和赞。每个人都会讨论这个话题。我们绝对可以登上ESPN或者Deadspin的版面。利大于弊啊。
Byrnes: “Fine, whatever. I’ll draft him in the 40th round or something.”
Byrnes:无所谓啦！我会在第40轮选他
Dee: “Uh no. Take him before the 30th.”
Dee:不，在第30轮以前选他
Byrnes: “What fucking difference does it make anyway? You know what, I’m not doing it. How ’bout that?”
Byrnes:这他妈的有什么差别？你知道吗？这种事我不干，你有意见吗？
Dee: “How ’bout I’m your boss and the team you put together is playing like shit.”
Dee:我是你上司，有意见吗？而且你组织的球队现在打得跟个大便一样。
Byrnes: “Dick.”
Byrne:切.
Dee: “Good, glad you’re on board.”
Dee:很好，我很高兴你跟我站在同一线
*24 hours later*
24小时过后
Dee: “Get Manziel on the phone.”
Dee:快给Manziel打通电话
Byrnes: “Dick”
Byrnes:切
*ring* *ring* *ring*
铃.铃.铃
Johnny Manziel: “Yeah what”
Johnny Manziel:有事吗？
Byrnes: “Johnny, this is Josh Byrnes. How are you doing?”
Byrnes: Johnny，我是Josh Byrnes。你好吗？
Manziel: “Um, ok I guess. Who’s this?”
Manziel:我想还不错，你是？
Byrnes: “Josh Byrnes, Padres General Manager. Look I just wanted to call to congratulate you on being drafted.”
Byrnes: Josh Byrnes,教士队的GM。听着，我打电话是为了恭喜你被选上了。
Manziel: “Yeah, Cleveland’s whatever. I got a good hookup already so, yeah, I’m straight.”
Manziel:对啊，克利夫兰的什么队。我预订了一场美好的性爱趴。对了，我是直男。
Byrnes: “Well, I’m excited to inform you that we’ve drafted you too! Congratulations!”
Byrnes:嗯，我很高兴通知你，我们也选上了你喔！恭喜！
Manziel: “Uh, cool thanks. I’ve never played hockey, though. Is that a deal-breaker?”
Manziel:酷耶，谢谢啦！不过我从来没打过冰上曲棍球。没得商量吗？
Byrnes: “No Johnn-”
Byrnes:不…Johnn-
Dee: “Give me the goddamn phone. Johnny! Hey what’s up! Listen, this is Mike Dee, remember? You threw out the first pitch for us. We gave you a bunch of free shirt. C’mon, we had a great night!”
Dee:”把那该死的电话给我”。Johnny，你好吗！听着，我是Mike Dee，记得吗？你帮我们开过球。我们送你一套免费的球衣。Come on，我们有过美好的夜晚。
Manziel: “Yeah sure. Look I have like four girls here, you mind getting to the point?”
Manziel:我了。听着，我今天邀请了四个女孩，你不介意直接讲重点吧。
Dee: “Hahaha that’s great. Ok so we’re gonna draft you, but it’s nothing serious. All you have to do is is send out a tweet. Nothing more. Oh, make sure to thank us in the tweet.”
Dee:哈哈哈，好极了。重点是我们选上了你，不过你不用想的太严肃。你唯一要做的是发出一则推特。就这样，不会更多。噢，对了，记得在推特上感谢我们唷。
Manziel: “Ok, cool. Hey do you know how to spot syphilis?”
Manziel:酷喔！嘿，你知道怎么样检验梅毒吗？
Fin
http://padrespublic.com/avenging-jack-murphy/a-very-important-conversation-sort-of/