每周一MBA生涯公益解惑日：大家看看我的Goal 是否有大漏洞
原文出自：
http://mbacareerfitter.blogspot.com/2021/11/mbagoal.html
Q:
大家看看我的Goal 是否有大漏洞：
I have a long term plan to build up my own software company in IT industry. China has so many talents of software engineering, but China dose not own world famous software companies. While, India’s software industry have boomed up and cultivated many well-known native software firms, such as InfoSys and Satyam. On the other side, foreign software and solution companies, such as SAP, Oracle and Microsoft, almost occupied China’s software industry. Ironically, they hosted their R&D centers in China and
hired a bunch of Chinese engineers. I aspire to take the responsibility to alter the situation and foster a world-class software service provider from China.
For this goal, first of all, I should build and sharpen my business capabilities before 35 years old. In Intel, I inspired my potential and learned a lot about various leadership styles, effective team work, customer orientation, and business operation. Especially, Intel’s open and global working environment cultivated me to be a pro-active and initiative guy with global thinking. However, only a MBA program can offer me systematic business management trainings to improve my general skill-sets of
international business operation. Secondly, I need a business co-partner, who are smart and passion. In a top MBA school, it will be easy to get this task done. Thirdly, I should find out the venture capital to support the setup of my business. So I prefer study in US for my MBA program, where it is relatively easier to get capital support.
A:
根据大量秒杀含常春藤等名校MBA奖学金的经验，这篇essay文法需要小修，但文法上并没有什么太大问题，语气平铺直叙也没什么不好。
BW上的录取sample很多都是这样的语气。
长程目标有大方向，讲到大陆与印度趋势都很好。
不过以上状况都无关紧要。
主要问题有几大点：
一是大陆与印度有这些趋势，只是总体经济面。
跟您个人生涯的关系为何?
要有细部的个人动机结合。
二是为什么这样的趋势要由您来执行这样的目标?
你有什么个人能力或特别经历，与其他竞争者区隔?
为什么十几亿人要由你来执行，而不是别人? 你跟别人有什么不同?
这篇essay主要问题就是