※ 引述《b89207040 (黄卓盛)》之铭言：
: https://www.facebook.com/officialchucknorrispage
帮复习一下
个人：
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
罗礼士出生后就开车把他妈妈从医院载回家。
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
罗礼士从不读书：他都是狠狠瞪著书本，直到书本供出他想要的资讯。
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
罗礼士可以用点字和人对谈。
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one
fools Chuck Norris.
罗礼士的日历在 3/31 之后就是 4/2：没有人可以愚弄罗礼士。 (注：想想 4/1 是什么
日子..)
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake
.
罗礼士出的唯一一次错：他认为自己犯错了。
Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn’t kill women.
罗礼士不杀女人，所以 Kenny G 有权利活着。
In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself.
罗礼士的遗嘱特别注明：他死后要自己埋葬自己。
生活：
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
罗礼士可以用脚打好鞋带。
Chuck Norris' Doesn't wear a Watch, he Decides what Time it is.
罗礼士不使用时钟或手表，因为现在时间是由他决定的。
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.
罗礼士不会打错电话，而是对方接错电话。
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is
just afriad to move.
罗礼士房间有张棕熊做的地毯：其实那头熊还没死，牠只是不敢动。
When children go to bed, they take a teddy bear with them. When Chuck Norris
goes to bed, he takes a grizzly bear with him.
小孩子都是抱着泰迪熊睡觉，罗礼士则是大灰熊。
Chuck Norris owns a custom belt sander with three settings: Low, High, and
Shave.
罗礼士有一台特制的砂轮机，上面设定是：弱→强→刮胡。
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the
dark off.
罗礼士走进室内时不是开灯，他是“关掉黑暗”。
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even
glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
当罗礼士面对镜子时，镜子就破碎了：因为镜子没笨到被两个罗礼士夹在中间。
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to
kill you, including the room itself.
一间民宅的客厅里平均会有 1242 种罗礼士可拿来杀人的物品，包括客厅本身。
Chuck Norris always makes the shower head cry.
罗礼士洗澡不用转开关，他只是瞪着水龙头让它哭而已。
After a shower, Chuck Norris dosen't need a towel, he just tells the water to
get the hell off!
洗完澡后罗礼士不需要浴巾擦干，他只要叫水份离开他的身体就好了。
饮食：
Chuck Norris can tie cherry stems with his ear.
罗礼士可以用耳朵把樱桃梗打结。
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
罗礼士去汉堡王点了一个大麦克，而且他拿到了。
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
罗礼士切洋葱时总是让洋葱流眼泪。
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade
you've ever tasted.
罗礼士可以从苹果树上摘下橘子，并把它做成你一生中喝过最好喝的柠檬汁。
影剧：
Chuck Norris has a stunt double. For crying scenes.
罗礼士曾用过两次替身：在要哭的场景。
Chuck Norris was denied auditioning for "Mission Impossible", for obvious
reasons.
电影“不可能的任务”拒绝罗礼士去试镜，原因很明显。
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced
by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in
12 minutes and 37 seconds.
“24 小时反恐任务”本来是要找罗礼士来演的，但后来不得不换角：因为他在 12 分 37
秒时就全数歼灭恐怖份子。
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon
reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary,
so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
当初詹姆斯克麦隆本来是要找罗礼士演魔鬼终结者，但发现那样会变成真实纪录片，只好
改找阿诺。
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...... As The Force.
罗礼士在六部“星际大战”电影中都有演出......他饰演“原力”。
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he’s not
acting.
罗礼士从未因演技而拿到奥斯卡奖：因为他并不是在演戏。
The phrase ‘dead ringer’ refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a
movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
“死亡铃声”的语源是：看电影时坐在罗礼士后面的人没把手机铃声关掉。 (注：原意是
指“非常相像的人”)
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to
start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
罗礼士曾和超人对打，并赌说输的人要把内裤穿在裤子外面。
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
有些粉丝会穿超人睡衣，超人则穿着罗礼士睡衣。
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in
trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
普通人发生危难时超人会出动，超人发生危难时罗礼士会出动。
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
当蝙蝠侠遇到问题，他会用探照灯打出罗礼士的头像。
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke... that truck
is now known as Optimus Prime.
有一次罗礼士恶作剧尿在一辆货柜车的油箱里... 那辆车后来变成我们知道的“变形金刚
”柯博文。
社会：
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal
injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
美国四种合法死刑处刑方式：注射毒药、毒气室、电椅、罗礼士。
When you celebrate your birthday, you do not celebrate the date of your birth,
you celebrate that Chuck Norris allowed you to live another year.
在生日时庆祝的不是长了一岁，而是罗礼士又让人活了一年。
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a
warning.
交通警察曾经拦下罗礼士，那个条子很幸运地只有被警告就被放走了。
Firefighters save the fire from Chuck Norris.
消防人员要从罗礼士手下救“火”。
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped
people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck
Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
身障车位不是专门为了身障人士而设的，事实上是在标明罗礼士的车位，如果你停在上面
，会被他打成半残。
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because
nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
曾经有一条“罗礼士路”，但后来改名了：没有人可以踩在罗礼士上还活命。
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
罗礼士可能不知道你住在哪里，但他知道你会死在哪里。
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you
have left to live.
罗礼士比 YA! 时表示：你还有两秒钟可活。
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
超能力者用精神力让汤匙扭曲，罗礼士则用汤匙让人精神扭曲。 (让我想到这个影片)
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
罗礼士知道维多利亚的秘密。 (注：“维多利亚的秘密”是知名内衣专卖店，“祕密”大
概是指内在美吧...？)
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
罗礼士能关上一扇旋转门。
财金：
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has
more money than you.
如果你有五块钱、而罗礼士也有五块钱：他有的钱比你多。
Chuck Norris credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
罗礼士的信用卡没有最高额度，但他上个星期又用超过了。
文学、艺术：
Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have
questions.
罗礼士遇到惊叹号并在揍了它一拳，所以我们现在有了问号。
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
罗礼士可以用钢琴演奏小提琴。
科学：
Chuck Norris has lived on the sun, this period of time was known as the Ice
Age.
罗礼士曾经住在太阳里，那段期间我们称为“冰河期”。
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck
Norris.
当贝尔发明电话后, 他发现有三通来自罗礼士的未接来电。
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of
visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
黑色是罗礼士发明的，更精确的说：整个可见光光谱都是罗礼士发明的......但不包括粉
红色，那是汤姆克鲁斯发明的。 (注：是指她？)
Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
光线一直希望自己的速度能有罗礼士的拳速那么快。
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
罗礼士可以被零整除。
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
π (pi) 的最后一位数就是罗礼士，因为他终结任何事物。
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
罗礼士曾经从一数到无限大......两次。
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
罗礼士可以摩擦两块冰块生火。
Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following
to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
罗礼士曾痛扁他的影子，因为老是跟他太近，现在影子都只敢离他 30 呎远。
Chuck Norris is so intimidating even his reflection won't look back at him.
连罗礼士的水中倒影都要避免和他有眼神接触。
The sheep on Chuck Norris' farm are the ones that give us steel wool.
现代钢丝的原料：来自罗礼士农场养的绵羊。
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also
Chuck Norris’ initials. This is not a coincidence.
剧毒“氰化物”的化学符号 CN 和罗礼士 (Chuck Norris) 名字的缩写一样：这并不是巧
合。
Scientists recently admitted that if there was a nuclear war, only cockroaches
and Chuck Norris would survive.
科学家承认，如果发生核战争，只有蟑螂和罗礼士能存活。
天文：
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck
Norris.
“宇宙膨胀”的原因就是宇宙万物都在逃离罗礼士。
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
罗礼士有 12 颗卫星，其中一颗是地球。
Chuck Norris once kicked the Earth, it hasn't stopped spinning.
罗礼士踢了地球一下，它到现在还没停止转动。
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
罗礼士已经登陆火星过了，这就是为何那里没有生命迹象。
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that
Chuck Norris is on.
其实外星人真的存在，但他们没有笨到来侵略有罗礼士的星球。
There are no mysteries in the universe. Only things that Chuck Norris hasn't
shared with the rest of us.
宇宙中已经没有奥秘了，只是罗礼士还没跟大家分享他去过的地方而已。
生物：
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to
live.
没有“进化论”这种东西，只有“罗礼士允许存活物种清单”而已。
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
罗礼士对一匹马打出上钩拳，于是就产生了长颈鹿。
Chuck Norris can drown fish.
罗礼士能把鱼淹死。
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. after three das of
excrutiating pain, the cobra died.
罗礼士曾经被毒蛇咬过：在经过三天的极度痛苦后....那条蛇死了
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
罗礼士能从柠檬榨出柳橙汁。
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows
to live.
这世上从来都没有什么进化论，只有一张罗礼士允许生存的名单。
医学：
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear
of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
怕蜘蛛称作“恐蛛症”、害怕狭小空间称作“幽闭恐惧症”，害怕罗礼士叫作“逻辑”。
Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital.....twice.
罗礼士曾经捐过他的心脏......两次。
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
罗礼士是不睡觉的，他只是在等待。
Chuck Norris can measure his weight with a ruler.
罗礼士可以用直尺量出他的体重
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a
world with Chuck Norris.
刚生出来的婴儿会哭，是因为知道这个世界有罗礼士在。
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe; he holds air hostage.
罗礼士不呼吸，他是挟持空气当人质。
The leading causes of death in the United States are 1.Heart Disease 2.Chuck
Norris 3.Cancer.
美国三大死亡原因：1.心脏疾病 2.罗礼士 3.癌症。
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal
weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
罗礼士的身体各部份都被登记为杀伤性武器，他的脾脏更被五十个州认定为隐藏式武器。
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
罗礼士的眼泪是癌症的特效药，但很遗憾：他永不流泪。
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.
罗礼士常常去捐血......不过并不是他的血。
电脑资讯：
There is no “ctrl” button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always
in control.
罗礼士的键盘上没有“Control”，因为他就能控制万物。
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
罗礼士可以删掉资源回收筒。
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
比尔盖兹一直活在担心罗礼士的 PC 当机的恐惧中，终于受不了而退休了。
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
罗礼士不需要推特、Facebook、噗浪，因为他随时都可以追踪到你。
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck
Norris, he finds you.
绝对不要在 Google 上搜寻罗礼士，因为你找不到什么资料，反而还会被他知道你在追踪
他
(请在 Google 搜寻输入“Chuck Norris”，然后点“好手气”，Google 会告诉你：“在
你还有机会时，快逃啊！”)
游戏：
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
罗礼士就是为什么威力还躲著的原因。 (注：“威力在哪里”)
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
罗礼士曾经下了三子就赢了四子棋。
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into
concrete.
有些小孩会用尿在雪地上写自己的名字，罗礼士则是用尿在水泥地刻出自己的名字。
Chuck Norris can win rock, paper, scissors without using rock, paper, or
scissors.
石头赢剪刀、剪刀赢布、布赢石头，但是罗礼士赢过这三个。
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
罗礼士骑独轮车也可以翘孤轮。
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won
罗礼士用装满六颗子弹的左轮手枪玩俄罗斯轮盘也能获胜。
When Chuck Norris plays pac-man the ghosts stay in their box.
罗礼士玩小精灵“PAC-MAN”时，那几只鬼都只敢躲在框框里不敢出来。
Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account. On Playstation.
罗礼士有 XBox Live 的帐号：用 PS1 拿到的。
Chuck Norris flew his first paper airplane when he was 4 years old. It landed
yesterday.
罗礼士在四岁时丢出一只纸飞机，昨天终于落地了。
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-
find-you."
罗礼士不玩“躲迷藏”，他玩“躲起来并祈祷我不去找你”。
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
能赢过同花大顺的，就只有罗礼士的手了。
体育：
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the
Earth down.
罗礼士做伏地挺身的时候，他并不是撑起自己，而是把地球压下去。
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
罗礼士是唯一在网球比赛中赢过一堵砖墙的人。
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and
accidentally won the Tour de France.
某次罗礼士在法国渡假时，骑脚踏车四处晃晃，最后不小心赢了环法自行车大赛冠军。
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
某些魔术师能在水上行走，罗礼士则是在陆地中游泳。
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand
Canyon is enough.
罗礼士曾玩过一次花式跳伞，之后他就不再做了：因为大峡谷只有一个就很够了。
谚语：
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
罗礼士可以用一只鸟杀掉两颗石头。
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
“时间不等待任何人”......除非那个人就是罗礼士。
You win some： you lose some. Chuck Norris wins ALL.
“胜败乃兵家常事”，但罗礼士永远只有胜利。
The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris
.
“笔胜于剑：文胜于武”......但只限于那枝笔是在罗礼士手上。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is
Chuck Norris.
每个成功的男人背后都有个女人，每个死人背后则都有罗礼士。
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
罗马是罗礼士一天造成的。
There's no point in crying over spilled milk unless it's Chuck Norris' milk...
then you're gonna die.
别为打翻的牛奶流泪 (别为无法挽救的事后悔)，除非你打翻的是罗礼士的牛奶...... 因
为你死定了。
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal
insult.
“人并不是完美的”对于罗礼士来说是句侮辱的话。
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
罗礼士的“爱”，指的是“不杀”。
宗教、信仰：
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
上帝说“要有光”，罗礼士说“该加个‘请’字吧”。
Jesus turned water into wine, Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
耶稣把水变成葡萄酒，罗礼士把葡萄酒变成啤酒。
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
妖魔鬼怪们露营时晚上的经典活动：围着营火讲“罗礼士故事”。
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
死神曾经有过一次“濒罗礼士体验”。 (人类则有“滨死体验”)
Chuck Norris cannot experience Death, but Death can experience Chuck Norris.
罗礼士不会经历死亡，但死亡会经历罗礼士。
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell
him yet.
罗礼士其实在二十年之前就已经死了，但是死神还没勇气去找他。
When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going to end in
2012, he resonded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day."
有人问罗礼士相不相信 2012 年是世界末日，他回答“要看我那时心情好不好”。
历史：
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The result was The Great Pyramids.
罗礼士玩过乐高积木：这也是金字塔的由来。
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It
failed miserably.
当初建万里长城的目的是为了挡住罗礼士，但很显然是失败了。
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling
, “Bang!”
罗礼士用手指著德军战斗机喊“磅！”，该战机就坠毁了。
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant
to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They
didn’t even come close.
曼哈顿计画原本的目的是要重现罗礼士的破坏力，但很显然完成品和模仿对象差距很大。
In World War II, The US could choose between an Atomic Bomb and Chuck Norris
to punish Japan. The US choose the lighter punishment.
太平洋战争时，美国可以从原子弹和罗礼士中二选一：美军最后决定用比较人道的方法。
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called the Islands.
罗礼士曾到过维京群岛 (Virgin Islands)......现在那边就只叫“群岛”(The Islands)
了。 (注解：Virgin 指“处女”)
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure
was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
1986 年，苏联科学家企图复制罗礼士但失败：这就是我们后来所知道的“车诺比核能灾
害”。
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq because Chuck Norris lives in
Oklahoma.
伊拉克并没有大规模毁灭武器，因为罗礼士是住在奥克拉荷马。
最后再强调：罗理士没有八卦、没有传说、没有神蹟，只有“真相”！不相信的人，请看
看这位仁兄的下场：
推 Datow:罗礼士不过就是个B级片鸟演员 要是他真的那么神 他为什么现在没有把我一全
灌在键ㄆs7u儿2雌83批ruwe葛j3ur&^27%^%^$ 12/16 01:03